I promised myself I wouldn’t cave and buy into the hype that surrounded the wedding, and I did SO WELL, you guys. I wasn’t one of those who got my ass up at three this morning, tiptoeing to the living room to watch two people that I could give a rat’s ass about tie the knot and stumble back to bed an hour later, still half-asleep, with visions of Hollywood-white teeth and polite waves in my head. I did, however, check out the photos when I first got up this morning, and I have to say: my God in heaven, Kate Middleton looked beautiful. Like, she’s a pretty girl as it is, but she looked BEAUTIFUL. She was the embodiment of what a princess should look like, and it totally appealed to the little six-year-old in me who’s still looking for a frog to kiss (totally found him – warts and all. I sleep next to him at night, you know).
Anyway, congratulations to the couple, for real – you guys looked amazing, and I’m so glad that your day has been great so far, but now … Can we get on with our lives, please?