Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Intimacy Experiment Day Two: Check Your Sex at the Door

photo of angelina jolie and billy bob thornton hugging pictures

So today’s day two, and I have to say … yesterday’s experiment with the addition of luxurious sheets and scented candles really did turn my bedroom into a, OK, I’ll say it, ‘Sanctuary of Love.’ Or at least of peace, anyway. And that? I LOVE. Today’s focus of the day is to realize that a good relationship isn’t just about sex (just as Taylor Swift).

This? Was not as hard as I thought it’d be. My husband is a full-time student (he’s FINALLY done this spring) who works part-time, I work from home full-time and also take care of our daughter, three years old, at home, full-time. WE’RE BUSY. Honestly? Sex is sometimes the last thing on my mind for days. So I thought this particular exercise would be kind of hard. I mean, actually making an EFFORT to be extra emotionally connected instead of just sweating it out for a half-hour in the bedroom on occasion? Sheesh.

The experiment prompted us to focus on spending extra time hugging and kissing and caressing in a non-sexual way. We made it happen in passing; he’s had the flu for three days (sorry, husband, but I don’t want the mange or whatever it is that’s ailing you these days). We were to document how many times we physically interacted with one another aside from brushing fingers while passing the salt, and dusting feathers from our swanky new pillows off one another’s shoulder-  and even though we couldn’t, like, suck face and embrace a la Gone With the Wind, we still managed to touch it out at least twenty times so far today, AND we curled up on the couch to watch part of Stephen King’s The Shining while my little girlfriend napped. (Some of us like horror movies, you know – it can’t all be Twilight and Bridget Jones’ Diary.)

The bottom line was being connected on an emotional level, and I’m pretty proud to say, though we’re both wicked busy people with tons and tons of obligations both inside and outside the home, we made it work.

Part of the experiment was also to ask ourselves these questions, and if we could say ‘yes’ to at least half of them, we are officially connected on an emotional level, and not just two roommates sharing a flat who happen to have the occasional sex, and oh yeah, a child together:

– Hug/embrace
– Hold hands
– Kiss
– Say ‘I love you’
– Call during the day to say ‘hi’ and check in
– Compliment each other
– Email each other
– Eat meals together
– Take time to really talk about each other’s day
– Do chores together
– Go on regular date nights
– Watch favorite TV shows or read the newspaper together
– Socialize with other people together
– Cultivate/participate in mutual hobbies/common interests
– Go on vacations together

Guys? It appears that we’ve got this down pat.

How many of you can say that you do at least half of these things?


Don’t forget to check out The Bachelorette‘s Ryan and Trista’s journey so far … I’ve never met a more likable celebrity couple in, like, life. You can also follow the experiment on K-Y’s Facebook page, Couples Place, too. And of course, DON’T FORGET TO ENTER for a chance to win your own kit, too! (Leave it in the comments, guys.)

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s experiment!

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  • There’s only two things on the list my boyfriend and I don’t do – call and Email each other daily. But then again, we’re both fulltime students and since sitting at home, reading dusty books preparing for the occasional 3 hour class at Uni is what we spend most of our time doing, we’re basically right here, in the flat, together everyday – therefore calling and emailing as well might be taking things a bit too far! Thanks to free education and monthly government support to everyone getting a further education, we don’t have to have a job to pay the bills and thus have a looot of time for kissing and cuddling and the likes! We’ve been together for a bit more than two years but damn … I’m still every bit as in love as I was back then! Kudos to you guys for being able to take the time between studying, working and raising a kid!

  • My husband had his reserve weekend..and this morning he texted me “good morning beautiful” which he hasnt done in a really long time..When he got home the baby was screaming but he came to the rescue with batteries for the lamb swing! Then we were able to cuddle for a little bit :) Even though we have a new baby we still try to cuddle when I’m not taking care of her.