Surprise, Owen Wilson is Going to Be a Dad

And come on, show of hands: who, like me, thought that Owen Wilson was still stuck in a seedy two-room apartment somewhere in LA, lamenting his days of better roles than those starring alongside Reese Witherspoon in crappy rom-coms, and all crazy, unshaven, and unstable?

However, unless he broke out of his emotional fugue long enough to impregnate a woman that I have never heard of just to retreat back to said bedbug-infested hovel, we are mistaken – Wilson, who has been dating Jade Duell for a year, has paid his rep to announce that the couple is having a child. Like, probably this week sometime.  It’s supposedly happening this fast.

So wow. OK.  Owen Wilson, a dad. It’s cool, I suppose I can get with it. I mean, it definitely beats the hell out of being all crazy and suicidal, you know? Plus, he didn’t get his nose fixed. And I think that counts for, like, everything.