PopSugar is saying that Jessica Simpson’s rep has confirmed her engagement to her boyfriend of not all that long, Eric Johnson. Eric supposedly proposed to Jessica on Thursday, roughly a week after her ex-husband Nick Lachey announced his engagement to his girlfriend of several years, Vanessa Minnillo.
Where do I begin?
1) That ring looks like it’s from Kay Jewelers, straight up. It’s mad rude to snark on the size and quality of another woman’s engagement ring, but I guess I’m just a rude-ass bitch. I mean… Yellow gold and rubies? He’s obviously not planning on her wearing that thing for very long. Like, what the hell ever happened to classic versatility? You can bash Khloe Kardashian all day, but I respect the hell out of her and Lamar’s ring choice. ANNNNYYYWAAAAYY….
2) Who the hell is Eric Johnson? Obviously he wants to marry Jessica Simpson. Isn’t he some dude from Yale and family money? Jessica Simpson agreeing to do him on the regular is probably the best thing that ever happened to him.
3) Really, Jessica? Engaged a week after Nick? I know subtlety has never really been your forte, but like… get a clue, girl. Announcing your engagement a week after your ex announces his is like pointing a flashing red arrow at yourself that reads “I’M NOT OKAY.”
Whatever. I wish them both a ton of happiness.