Today's Evil Beet Gossip

What to Expect When You’re Expecting: The Movie

A photo of the cover of What to Expect When You're Expecting

No really, this is happening.  A film based on What to Expect When You’re Expecting, that classic pregnancy manual, is in the works. There’s no news about the cast or director yet, but the screenwriter is the woman who wrote Whip It!, that roller derby movie with Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore, and the word is that it will have the same sort of structure as Love Actually and Valentine’s Day, revolving around five expecting couples.

I don’t feel good about this.  Have you guys read this book?  I did back when I was 10 and my sister got knocked up, mostly because I was told that I’d be helping take care of the baby and also because I read pretty much anything I could get my hands on.  I still remember a lot of the book (I was also the best, most knowledgeable aunt ever), but I don’t think I ever thought “you know what should happen to this book?  A dramatization.”  Somehow reading about the effects of different drugs and alcohol on a fetus and learning what an episiotomy was didn’t scream “rom com” to me.

What do you guys think?  Is this book too factual for an adaptation, or would you be willing to give the finished product a chance?

Kim Zolciak is Pregnant and Starting Shit With The Wrong Lesbian

Kim Zolciak is supposedly pregnant with Atlanta Falcons player Kroy Biermann’s baby. We know this because Kim asked her former lesbian lover DJ Tracy Young to raise the baby with her, and once she settled whatever fight she was having with Kroy, she dumped Tracy again, leaving her pissed and ready to talk to the press. Ugh. These people suck so brutally.

From Star:

Earlier this month, Tracy flew to Atlanta to reunite with Kim, four months after their bitter breakup. “She said she still loved me and wanted to tell me something important face to face,” Tracy tells Star exclusively in our Nov. 8 issue, on newsstands now.

Kim dropped the bombshell baby news and Tracy says, “When I asked her what she was going to do, she said, ‘I want you to stay and raise the baby with me, because Kroy doesn’t want to be involved.’” Little did Tracy know that only two days after Kim’s stunning announcement, her world would come crashing down as Kroy came back into the picture.

Wow. The presence of a harmless living being makes so many things that would normally just be trashy and uncomfortable flat-out unacceptable, huh?

Y’all have probably been more dedicated to this season of Real Housewives of Atlanta than I have, but what’s going on with Kim these days? She’s obviously no longer with Big Poppa, so she’s not making income from that. Her two daughters are getting older and less dependent on her, so perhaps she’s seeing the light at the end of the Child Support Tunnel and it’s freaking her out? Is that all this lady is good for? Pumping out other dude’s kids and picking up the checks? Yikes.

OK, So Justin Timberlake Can Definitely Still Sing

After I saw The Social Network, my first complaint was that I’m really over Justin Timberlake The Hollywood Actor. I loved him as a singer and while dabbling in the movie biz is expected for any multi-hyphenate these days, JT seems to have stuck around a little bit too long.

But his performance from last night that’s making the rounds on the Internet is even more proof that he needs to get back into the recording studio. It’s a mash-up/cover of “Cry Me a River” and “Ain’t No Sunshine” that he really sings the hell out of. His singing and his acting aren’t even in the same league, ya know? This is why we tolerated Justin in the first place. He’s mad sexy when he sings. Oh, girl and the dancing. Don’t you miss the dancing?

Come back to us, Original Justin Timberlake. We miss you.

Oprah Unveils Her OWN Logo

OWN Logo

Oprah Winfrey is shutting down her talk show at the end of this year and starting her own network called, wait for it, OWN. That stands for Oprah Winfrey Network for any of you who can’t read what the image above but can read what I’m writing here. What a strange disability to have. I’m glad I was mindful of your differences today.

What do you think about this logo? I’m thinking that it’s nowhere near as offensive as that stunt that GAP pulled a few weeks ago, but that she could have gone with less… obnoxious colors. I mean, I get it. It’s orange, purple and green AKA the secondary colors AKA what you get when you blend the primary colors together in pairs. In that way I guess it’s kind of a “deep” color selection, but it also looks a little bit like a candy wrapper. You know Oprah’s audience isn’t going to be appreciative of that…

Rihanna Does Marie Claire, Discusses the Vast Differences Between Chris Brown and Matt Kemp

photo of rihanna on the cover of marie claire december 2010 discussing chris brown and abuse pictures

Rihanna, all red-haired and tattooed and much different after being the object of abuse by former boyfriend Chris Brown, has settled on down with her athlete boyfriend, Matt Kemp, and dishes on all sorts of stuff for the December issue of Marie Claire magazine, and claims that she’s so much happier now than she’s been in the past.

On rationalizing the whole abuse thing with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown:

“God has a crazy way of working, and sometimes when stuff happens you feel like, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ Why was it backfiring on me? I was very lost. I have to say I felt really confused. I hate talking about it but it was really crazy because I felt so out of touch with myself and when that happens.’”

On losing herself and healing after the Brown incident:

“It’s scary because nothing you say or do feels like it’s you … [Rihanna says through tears.] You just lose touch of everything that you love and everything that you would normally do; how you would dress or how you would say something.”

On her current happiness with her new life and her boyfriend, baller Matt Kemp:

“I feel like I smile for real this time. The smiles come from inside, and it exudes in everything I do. People feel my energy is different. When I smile they can tell that it’s pure bliss and not just a cover up.”

I’m glad that Rihanna, clearly a super-talented performer and strong woman through and through, can be such an example of a life starting over and reinventing itself, because hell … we all have to once in awhile, don’t we?

Taylor Swift Has Moved Past John Mayer, Sets Sights on Jake Gyllenhaal

photo of taylor swift and jake gyllenhaal dating apple picking pictures

Now this is a couple I could get behind! And I’m not joking! While I’m not a big Taylor Swift fan (her music is a little bit … young for me), she seems like a level-headed, down-to-earth girl who tries to live her life as normally as possible, while being a crazy, notebook-doodling, romantic fool for love. And you know, I actually think it’s pretty sweet. I mean, she’s like Stevie Nicks. … Just without all of those hard, hard drugs. And all of those hard, hard drugs. Did I mention the drugs?

Anyway, Us magazine has apparently got the scoop on the new relationship, and it’s exactly as schmoopy-lovey as you’d think it’d be, coming from two of Hollywood’s most maternal and paternal young figures. The first date? Apple picking. Yup. Apple picking. And then Jake and Taylor went and helped out at a soup kitchen, adopted a half-blind three-legged dog from their local chapter of the Humane Society and gave it to a terminal cancer patient in a children’s ward, and performed a cabaret version of The Lion King for a local Veteran’s home, all to raucous applause.

I’m kidding about the dog and the Vets, but I’m serious about the apple picking. This is apparently what they did. And you know what? Good for them. I think it’s actually pretty sweet, and I hope that these rumors turn out to be true. Because then, I will probably pay way more attention to Taylor Swift and her doings. And I’m just positive that she’d be thrilled over that.