Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Let’s Talk About That Piranha Movie

Have you seen it yet?  I’ve been thinking about it, because I do enjoy horror movies and movies featuring water (which I realize sounds kind of lame, but come on.  Anaconda?  Titanic? The Little Mermaid?  I never stood a chance.), and I also have one of those friends who yells incessantly at the screen during horror movies, which is always awesome.

Anyway, apparently enough people have seen Piranha to warrant a sequel.  And I’m not excited because of any preconceived notion that the first Piranha is groundbreaking enough to necessitate another movie or anything like that.  I’m excited because there is going to be an online contest where you can vote on which actor you’d most like to see become a victim in the Piranha sequel.  And that is a level of power that I’ve never dreamed of.

All right, this news begs the question:  which celebrity would you want to see attacked by piranhas?  Perhaps a little Bieber action, or maybe the sequel could take place at the Jersey Shore and we could get an eight-for-one deal.  Oh, or Kristen Stewart could struggle against the killer fish in her trademark stiff and emotionless way.  See, the possibilities are endless!