As you’re all probably aware, the phenomena known as Lindsay Lohan has made her grand exit from jail, and is in the process of transitioning to rehab, where she’ll be treated for meth addiction, withdrawal, and bipolar disorder.
Lindsay was released early yesterday morning, after just serving thirteen days of her ninety-day sentence, but wasn’t photographed
looking like methed-out shit leaving the facility. As of today, she probably sits in UCLA Medical Center’s rehabilitation center, because Morningside Recovery, her original destination, was found to be ill-equipped and not secure enough to handle Lindsay’s addictions star power.
Lindsay’s rehab stint is supposed to last ninety days, but her “requirements” seem more like “recommendations,” and I highly doubt she’ll be there for the next two weeks, let alone the next three months. Come the fuck on. She didn’t even spend a third of her time in jail, for crying out loud — rehab is going to be a joke for Lohan. She’s going to pull out her dusty, dried out acting skills and be all “healed” and “remorseful” of of her pre-jail behavior, and she’ll be out quicker than you can say drug-addled sex kitten, back to snatch shots, chipped dollar store nail polish, and Red Bull before the end of the week. Then the LA county legal system will smile smugly and say, “Hey, this kinda stuff is our job, guys, and we take it seriously.”