Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jon Gosselin Gets His Karma Back

With a fresh crop of oozing zits, that is.

… How old are you, Jon? And you’re still breaking out like a pubescent little boy who’s hiding dirty magazines underneath his mattress and who can’t go more than 45 minutes without jacking off?

Oh, wait.

Yeah, normally I wouldn’t make fun of someone for something out of their control — like over-active facial sebaceous glands — but Jon Gosselin sucks, so I’m socking it to him and hitting him where it hurts. (I’d knock him in the nuts, but I’ve heard that I might have a hard time finding them, and frankly, I don’t have that kind of time on my hands these days.)

The grosser-half of the former Gosselin marriage is photographed at Millions of Milkshakes in West Hollywood, sucking back a milkshake that probably has 1500 calories in it. Not that, you know, that might have anything to do with the condition of his skin.

Keep sucking, Jon — stick to what you’re good at.

3 CommentsLeave a comment