The preview for Jersey Miami Shore has finally hit the Internet, and, although a lot of it is exactly the hyperbolic dreck you were expecting, there is some potential for awesomeness.
First off: Snooki is awesome. The girl is fucking hilarious. She plays the ditz, but she’s perceptive and cutting and she knows how to entertain. I was worried she’d become a caricature of herself (as if she weren’t already), but instead it seems she’s just developed a keener sense of what’s wonderful about the character she’s playing, the way Megan Mullally so brilliantly developed the Karen Walker character during the first season of Will & Grace.
Also: Angelina’s back. Oh, I hate her so. Rambling on and on about second chances. Fuck that. I’m angry that she’s on the show again. She forfeited her first chance. NO SECOND CHANCE FOR YOU. I hope JWoww punches her.
And most awesomely: Ronnie and Sammi broke up. BUT THEY STILL HAVE TO LIVE IN THE HOUSE TOGETHER. The preview shows Ronnie’s alcoholic ass slamming back drinks with his buddies in Jersey, talking about how he’s going to be “creepy” and “weird” in Miami, which I think in guido-speak actually means he’s planning to get with a lot of girls. And then Sammi is going to freak out and retaliate. And then Ronnie is going to freak out and retaliate back. And then Sammi is probably going to hook up with the Situation. And then Ronnie is going to — GASP! — drink too much and punch someone and go to jail for a night and then voluntarily decide to attend AA meetings before this cycle escalates to more serious consequences do it all again.
I’m pretty psyched for this, I’ll admit.
How old are you, 12? “The girl” is a piece of trash.
Seriously, LOL at Creeping/Creepy being a good thing.
Molls is in the Snooki tank.