May 02, 2010 at 01:13 pm by Emily

This weekend, the new Nightmare on Elm Street movie opened, and it was kind of a big deal.  It raked in an estimated $32.2 million, which placed the movie at the number one slot in the box office.

I don’t really understand the mass appeal of movies like this.  When you go to see a horror movie, you’re expecting shitty acting from largely unknown actors (except with Nightmare on Elm Street there’s Katie Cassidy, the girl that played the first Ruby on Supernatural, so that’s something) and an entirely predictable plot.  I mean, it’s fun and all, but I don’t know if I’d call it 32 million dollars worth of fun.

I thought all that, then I saw the trailer for The Human Centipede*, a horror movie that also opened Friday, but just in one theater. And that is a movie that I would gladly pay 32 million dollars to see, given that I had 32 million disposable dollars.  And honestly, who wouldn’t?

*Spoiler alert:  three people get connected together in a grotesquely intriguing way, and together they look kind of like a centipede.

19 Responses to “According To America, Horror Movies Are Awesome”

  1. cosmicdenmother says:

    Oh Emily, horror movies are not supposed to be about quality acting or a good plot line. They are about escapism. Read Stephen King’s Danse Macabre and then maybe you will get it.

    • GrooPunk says:

      So… what you’re saying, cosmicdenmother, is that people wanted the escapism of a movie to which they already knew the plot? That’s a poor argument to support the movie’s $32 million dollar haul.
      I prefer the argument that the general moviegoing audience is stupid and doesn’t want to exercise their brains at all.

      • evilbeetdouche says:

        I prefer the argument that you are a self absorbed sack of shit with a degree from some community liberal arts college. I’ll also prefer that your favorite word is “sustainable” and you” think globally” and act like nearly-dried piss splatter on the floor of a gas station rest room.

        Have a blessed day.

      • GrooPunk says:

        Are you referring to me or to cosmicdenmother?

  2. ltc says:

    Just read the plot of The Human Centipede. I seriously almost puked. It’s just sitting in my throat.. probably just like the crap consumed by the 2nd & 3rd part of the human centipede.
    NO THANKS.

  3. mekare says:

    erm…..that Human Centipede shit was lame sooooo lame and weird and freaky. how can u think thats better?? i dont know if it was a joke or not but i hope it was. also slasher movies are very entretaining and they apeal to people because it goes for our morbid curiosity : death and nudity (theres always some ). so now u know why

  4. lolitahaze says:

    if that’s what you think about horror movies, then you know fuck all about horror movies, film in general, and acting.

    BUT OH MY GOD YOU ARE A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVING AN ACTING DEGREE! THIS MEANS YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.

    this attitude will surely get you far in this world.

    • evilbeetdouche says:

      How about dialing down the hate just a smidge?

    • kylie says:

      yea seriously tone it down. All horror movies are just for the cheese factor anyways.

      • lolitahaze says:

        i thought i was going easy on her. so sensitive!

        no, horror movies not just for the cheese factor. i guess you don’t know a damn thing about them either.

  5. lolitahaze says:

    oh and you just heard about the human centipede? welcome to 2009!

  6. BeetLover says:

    Is that guy in the photo the same actor who played the pedophile in “Little Children” with Patrick Wilson and Kate Winslet?

    • ltc says:

      yes it is. i looked it up earlier. he does “creepy” really, really well!

      • lolitahaze says:

        he’s also an academy award nominee for best supporting actor for his role in “little children”.

  7. Lou says:

    My boyfriend showed me a trailer for the human centipede, and I have not been able to sleep for several nights without fervently preying for no nightmares and imagining conversations with Patrick Fugit to stop creepy images of conjoined people leaking into my mind.

    This was just the trailer. This movie is seriously fucking with my mind.

  8. jenn says:

    That’s Kelly Leak! From the the bad news bears.

  9. RiotGirl says:

    Haven’t seen it yet. It just better not shit on my nostalgia!

  10. kiki says:

    Jackie Earle Haley (Freddy) is neither a shitty actor nor largely unknown. He is a widely-known, well-respected actor who has been on quite a role since his “comeback” in 2006.

  11. Serena says:

    The fact you mentioned Katie Cassidy and that she was on Supernatural makes me happy =)

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