Apr 22, 2010 at 06:48 am by Sarah

In light of her devastating removal from Dancing With the Stars, you’d think that softie Jon Gosselin would be layering the sympathy on his ex-wife, Kate, in an effort to butter her up for … Wait, what the fuck am I saying? The only thing “soft” about Jon Gosselin is that half-deflated tire he’s starting to carry around his middle.  Strike that, reverse it.

Jon’s going after Kate full-boar, now that she’s been kicked off of DWTS and claims that he’s going to really stick it to her during their upcoming court battle over child custody.

Even though Kate’s dancing stint is over, reps for Jon state (he’s got those?) that it won’t end here: she’ll have another bunch of opportunities to promote herself whether it’s with the upcoming shows on TLC or some other back-room, discount appearance that’ll detract from the attention she claims to place on her kids.

The court date is looming — and Jon’s not giving up without a fight (even though, in reality, he hasn’t got a cupcake’s chance in Oprah’s house). J Gosselin is fighting for primary custody of his eight children in addition to child support payments. ‘Cause, really, that’s what this is all about: child support payments. The kids, I’m guessing, are just a, uh … paternal bonus.

9 Responses to “Jon Gosselin is Crying Kate a River”

  1. Rob says:

    it’s ‘bore’ not ‘boar’… although if Kate went after Jon.. that would be ‘full boar’

    • Sarah says:

      I’m glad you picked up on my pun. But Jon looks a bit more boar-ish than Kate does, I’m afraid. He looks like he should have an apple shoved into his mouth and roasted on a spit. … Not that she’s a whole lot better.

  2. Another Amanda says:

    Oh god…forced to use the word douche again. Fucking a.

  3. Someone says:

    You’re a little late with this story. Evidently he and Kate have decided to work things out privately.

  4. Anonymous says:

    She was a nurse.. she wanted more kids.. she ran him off as soon as she could and is still tying to blame him and the world for her misery.. Let her eat cake.

  5. Katie says:

    “he hasn’t got a cupcake’s chance in Oprah’s house.” Well played, Sarah. Well played!

  6. Petrocumbubble says:

    kate is just riding her kids for all their worth…..jon either wants his kids out of the spot light so they can grow up like normal kids. or he just wants a piece of the action.

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