At least that’s who I remember them to be, but then again, they stopped being relevant ten years ago, too, so the fact that I remember them just. that. way. is about as surprising as Ricky Martin coming out of the closet.
Heather Locklear, the Xena of Xanax-hoarding, and her long-term boyfriend, Jack Wagner have called it quits after like, thirty-five years of togetherness. In all reality, they dated for about three or something, but when you’re Hollywood’s most boring couple, three seems like what real life might be like for a celebrity.
Locklear claimed that the relationship was taking away from precious time spent with her daughter, but I think she just wanted to sleep more, take more downers and weep at old episodes of Melrose Place.
Sorry, guys. Break-ups suck, I guess.