Apr 12, 2010 at 02:16 pm by Sarah

At least that’s who I remember them to be, but then again, they stopped being relevant ten years ago, too, so the fact that I remember them just.  that.  way. is about as surprising as Ricky Martin coming out of the closet.

Heather Locklear, the Xena of Xanax-hoarding, and her long-term boyfriend, Jack Wagner have called it quits after like, thirty-five years of togetherness. In all reality, they dated for about three or something, but when you’re Hollywood’s most boring couple, three seems like what real life might be like for a celebrity.

Locklear claimed that the relationship was taking away from precious time spent with her daughter, but I think she just wanted to sleep more, take more downers and weep at old episodes of Melrose Place.

Sorry, guys.  Break-ups suck, I guess.

8 Responses to “Amanda Woodward and Dr. Peter Burns Break It Off”

  1. H says:

    hah, this was actually funny, and you didn’t call girlfriend a bitch

    good work Sarah

  2. jc says:

    Shes an old hag anyway, I’m sure he can do better

  3. Señor Loco says:

    Oooooh, I looooove that fabulous bag, Jack! Oh wherever did you get it, and was it on sale?!!!

  4. theotherme says:

    Who cares. She still looks great though.

  5. bobogg244 says:

    Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site[_www. A G E R O M A N C E com_]—a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.

  6. RHONYC says:

    let me guess…it went like this:

    *jack singin’*

    “Allllllll I neeeeeeeeed
    Is just a little more time
    To be sure what I feel
    Is it all in my mind
    Cause it seems so hard to believe
    That you’re all I ne…..

    uh…Heather where are you going with your suitcases?”

    hahahaha

    :-)

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