So hard to say goodbye..to some at least.
The previous episode left us in turmoil, with Kate’s explosion and departure. She claims “her work here is done”… but is it, viewers? I ask you to weigh in.
With Kate gone, the girls debate about “them laws” and whether or not any of them (cough: Annie) have grounds to press charges. Amber gets her own justice on what remains of Kate…her clothes. What she doesn’t adopt into her own wardrobe, she defiles with cheap lotion and then joyfully smashes Kate’s living room portrait. Sweet, sweet revenge! I for one must say, DING DONG! The witch is dead!
The Ambers decide they’ve had just about all they can take of non-Amber company and announce their last night at the house. Meanwhile, Annie calls in an assault charge against Kate and the cops agree to come take a report.
Later that evening, the house prepares for the air sex finals with Chris Trew. You’ll remember him as that creepy guy who seemingly bruised Mother Nature herself via his loaded thrust on the taping of the first ever Amber Show. Although most of the good parts were censored, I could tell our girls had a great time! Especially Annie, whose competitive side revved into high gear and gave the audience quite the show. Amber and Lexie follow suit, or agreed to compete as a team in spirit, and give their best tag-team attempt. And although it was proclaimed that Amber’s hips moved faster than light, Annie is pronounced victorious. I call SCANDAL! RECOUNT! BLASPHEMY! Because Amber and Lexie put the whole contest to shame!
Realizing their limited time left in the house, the girls discuss what they’ve learned. Upon unanimous agreement that their time in the house has changed nothing other than themselves, the girls decide to attempt to change the world the only way they know how…by hosting the world’s largest Bikini Parade, of course!
Our BG’s contact the Guinness Book of World Records, the press, hot friends, etc. and start to arrange the Parade. Annie turns into a harsher than usual grammar Nazi when Lexie decides that her roll in the event will be in relating with the media. The more she stresses the evil of double negatives the more I grow to dislike Annie, a feeling reciprocated by the rest of the house.
The girls decide to de-stress AND promote their event by taking a trip down to Baja, only to realize over half way there that they forgot the flyers. But this can’t get our girls down! They decide that flirting is practically the same thing, which makes me feel as if the girls somehow forgot that they’re hosting a Bikini Parade, not a Speedo Parade.
Annie quickly becomes the new house-zilla–someone needed to fill Kate’s shoes right?–and Lexie’s dislike of Annie grows, but being fully aware of Annie’s proclivity for pressing charges, decides it’s best not to punch her.
The following day, Annie pursues her case against Kate and goes shopping for new bikinis, all the while harassing and belittling poor, little Lexie. Ok, the girl is a Bad Girl and thus not so little or innocent but I do think she’s totally not deserving of Annie’s derisive comments. Has Annie just gone loco? Or was she a crazy bitch all along? OR does Lexie need someone to whip her into shape…maybe…make her read a book?
The rift between the rest of the house and Annie grows as the Bikini Parade approaches. The morning of the Parade proves to be a huge scramble for all bikini-clad women. Our ladies hit the beach to recruit, but our most successful recruiter with a bullhorn is Lexie. Gotta love this girl!
In the end, the girls fall short of the world record, BUT at least they set the Venice Beach Record for largest Bikini Parade. Go team, go!
The girls return home to an answering machine full of very mature messages left by Kate, and her “lawyer” Natalie. But somehow, Amber seems far more upset about the messages than Annie…but I might too if my boyfriend was referred to as the “Predator.”
The girls head out for their last night….feel free to take a moment. Lord knows I did! And although I nearly expected blood, the BG’s show a rare spurt of maturity and look beyond their differences and seem to have a genuinely good time.
Cut to the following morning. The girls are packing in their skimpy-next-to-nothing garb amongst cardboard, packing tape, and of course, cocktails. Later, bikini-clad and with a bottle of white wine each, the girls shed some tears and thank God for being bad girls, and thus, this opportunity!
Amber, my realest lady of the episode, puts it perfectly: “Can’t say I’d do it again, but wouldn’t trade it for the world.” Kendra claims it’s one of the best experiences of her life and suggests that instead of waiting for their ride to the airport that the girls road trip home. The girls enthusiastically accept — well, all except for Annie…she wasn’t invited. There was a strict no-moms-allowed policy, apparently.
We leave the girls, hitting the road, bickering over directions…sigh. I’ll miss our ladies ;( But don’t despair watchers! It’s not ALL over, you still get dessert…I mean, a 2-part reunion special. Hell yeah! Be sure to tune into Oxygen next week and catch your favorite Bad Girls in action! And per usual, you can get your BGC recap at www.evilbeetgossip.com