Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Tiger Woods is Addicted to More Than Just Sluts

The skeletons! The skeletons keep coming out of this man’s closet and I love it! Soon we’re going to find out that this dude is a regular at furry conventions and that he has some crazy sex room in his house filled with bronzed strap-ons!

Tiger Woods is back in rehab, but this time he’s getting treated for a more traditional addiction: Pills. Yup, turns out that while he was in rehab for sex addiction, Tiger also copped to the fact that he was poppin’ pills, specifically Ambien and Vicodin. Damn. I didn’t realize that Tiger was in to that kind of party.

An anonymous source spoke to the National Enquirer and said, “In [sex] therapy, Tiger blamed a lot of his cheating behavior on his drug addiction, saying that the drugs were responsible for impairing his judgment.” His favorite combo? Taking an Ambien before getting down with the lady of his choice. Ambien sex. It’s everywhere these days, you guys.

Tiger said last week in his apology speech (that I thought was a bunch of garbage) that he never used performance-enhancing drugs. In fact, he seemed quite adamant about it. It’s just legalese, if you ask me. Sure, he never took performance-enhancing drugs, but do you think Nike is psyched to back a golfer who pops Vicodin and Ambien for kicks? I mean, prolly not.

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Tiger woods walks out of a bar and papps surround him accusing him of failing his promise to seek help and ask why does he have ladies underwear tied on his arm and Tiger says.. “No worries about my addictions.. as you can see I am on the patch.”

  • Sure, Tiger Woods never used performance enhancing drugs? Then why did his doctor get caught last year bringing human growth hormone illegally over the border from Canada? And, all of a sudden, Tiger bulks up big-time? (Oh yeah, Tiger tried to explain that away by saying all the “Woods men” gain lots of muscle in their 30’s).

    The guy is a liar about so many things in his life.

    • The doctor who was caught sneaking in HGH from Canada has treated hundreds of American athletes and countless non-athletes and was not exclusive to Woods. It’s not like it was Tiger’s personal cook who was caught sneaking in HGH. Also, HGH is not a drug.
      Where does this image of a bulked up Tiger come from? His physique may have changed from his amateur/Stanford days to his early professional days, but he’s not that big of a guy now, has maintained a similar body type for the last decade plus, and the change in his physique can reasonably be explained away as a transition to adulthood and to a more professional-grade workout regimen.
      I can’t definitely refute what you’re implying, but your suppositions lack any realistically viable strength.

      • I had EB posting technical glitches, earlier. Hope this works now.
        Blank Stare and Grace — thank you. Unnecessary, but appreciated. I enjoy Beet as a generally thoughtful, intelligent community, which is particularly standout for a subject — celebrity gossip — that can oftentimes be given the lowbrow treatment.

      • Let me swap out “throwaway and dumb” for “lowbrow,” cause that’s more what I meant, rather than low culture versus high culture.
        Chuck I’ve, unfortunately, been having tech troubles when I try to respond to your message below (or on a new thread that I tried to open). Don’t know what’s up.

      • Skeelo, you have a few technical points in your favor here, but let’s be realistic. You are correct, HGH is not a “drug”, but a naturally occurring hormone. So is testosterone. And like testosterone, your body only produces so much HGH naturally. When professional athletes in most sports (at least, sports that have banned athletes from trying to enhance themselves chemically) inject themselves with testosterone and now HGH, and get caught, they are disqualified or banned. So, while you are correct that HGH is not a “drug”, the International Olympic Committee and Major League Baseball consider HGH a PED, or performance enhancing drug.

        You are also correct that Woods’ doctor treated athletes (i doubt that his total athlete patient list is in the hundreds) and non-athletes. But, my “suppositions” are far above “viable strength” when it comes to this doctor, his treatment of Woods, and other athletes BECAUSE HE WAS CAUGHT BRINGING HGH INTO THE USA!