Feb 20, 2010 at 10:50 am by Kelly

If you’ve been dying for a dose of something freckly, pasty, and adorable ever since Conan went off the air last month, then your prayers have been answered. If you pray for that kind of thing.

Since his contract with NBC prevents him from doing television for a year, Coco nuts is reportedly considering bringing the hot red-headed mess straight to your face via a live speaking tour that would take him to several venues across the states and maybe even to Europe.

Many of the venues would be college campuses, which will make the frat boys very happy because it gives them another reason to take their shirts off in unreasonable weather and paint things on their chests. They love doing that.

Could you imagine the copper topped bouffant infested bacchanalia that would ensue if Conan came to a college campus near you? It’d be a total mess of drunk chicks, face paint, and people trying to be funny yelling things out during the performance but failing miserably. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

11 Responses to “I’m Told He’s Bigger in Person”

  1. Margo says:

    It’s official. Today I’m taking Evil Beat off of my Home Page. Stick. Fork. Done.

  2. christen says:

    this post has no structure. the 4th paragraph is like a bad comedian trying to ellicit laughs by repeating himself again and again

  3. d says:

    Yeah, I don’t get it either. Most of the time I can deal with the lunacy that is a Molls post but this is out there. This should have been a post about the brilliance that this idea is. Pure gold on the part of Coco!

  4. finchy says:

    It makes good sense to me. Maybe that’s because I am one of those who pray for the pasty?

  5. wuzzuh says:

    i miss wendy. come back wendy.

  6. Lee says:

    Ghostbusters reference = nice!

    I like this site on weekends when the real writers come out to play, it is much more like the “old” Beet site.

  7. MissLeeLoo says:

    Kelly, I love your writing! I miss Wendy too, but that’s not cuz you’re not as good, but just cuz she had a different kind of humour that was very fun to read as well!

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