Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Supposedly Tiger Woods Sucks at Rehab

Even though it’s been reported widely that Tiger Woods is desperate to make it work with Elin after being caught in a cheating scandal, the National Enquirer has a different story. Of course. According to their new cover, Tiger not only cheated on his wife again while in rehab, but he refused to admit he had a problem. A source with inside scoop from the rehab center gave the Enquirer the following scoop:

“I am NOT a sex addict!”

A hostile Tiger Woods exploded with pent-up rage during sex addiction therapy after weeks of treating the entire program as a big joke, a close source told The Enquirer. He denied he has a problem, says the source, ridiculed fellow patients and refused to cooperate with therapists.

The disgraced golfer treated group therapy with such contempt that he caused one female patient to break down in tears, the source says.

“What a cheat!” blasted the source. “Tiger’s so-called rehabilitation is a joke. He went into rehab as a sex addict, and he’s coming out as one. He has been in complete denial the whole time.

“Tiger isn’t about to change his stripes. As soon as his wife Elin takes her eyes off him, he will be hopping into bed with the first bimbo that catches his eye.”

Tiger’s much-publicized sex therapy was just “a pathetic attempt” to repair his badly tattered image and to save his $105 million-a-year endorsement empire, charges the source.

While I don’t doubt that Tiger Woods will be the way he is for the rest of his life, I wouldn’t believe that he’s behaved this way at rehab either. If there’s one thing we’ve learned about this guy recently is that he puts up a great front, so I’m sure he can make it through some bullshit therapy session without making other people cry.

33 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Tiger was not at Sex Rehab, this is a media generated idea…. he is on his boat, the only place he has actually been spotted is West Palm Beach.

  • Dear Evil Beet: those floating ads by Gumgum (or whatever the hell they are) – are becoming more and more annoying….and bigger and bigger. They almost block the whole image. do you really need those as part of your business model – the banners on the side are much less intrusive.

    Yours,
    a devoted reader

  • Going to rehab for cheating on one’s wife is absolutely ridiculous and an example of the medicalization of American society. He cheated on his wife because he can. If he was a fat janitor he wouldn’t be stricken with this grave “disease” of sex addiction, because he (most likely) wouldn’t have the opportunity to act on it.

    • Speaking from the perspective of a “fat janitor”, I’ve gotten way more pussy than you can imagine. Maybe you meant “fat pig farmer” as I don’t think they get as much, unless you count their underage step daughters.

  • I’m inclined to believe this story. His girlfriend from high school spoke of the arrogance that he developed in college and he’s gotten away with a huge scam for his whole adult life.

    He probably believes that he deserves to compensated for his lost childhood by having his fantasies indulged, a la Michael Jackson, and he probably believes in his father’s delusions about his ultimate greatness, also like Michael Jackson.

    He will continue to have a double life, there will be a divorce, maybe after one more child. He’ll will make some serious sounding statement about wanting to make it up to his wife, fans and sponsors and he will continue to be promiscuous and do drugs.

    Why should he change? He has the life he wants. All he really needs to do is dump his wife and then he’ll just be another promiscuous pro athlete.

  • I think the reason he sucks is because he’s not a sex addict. I don’t think he has a true addiction, I think he just simply doesn’t want to be faithful and only be with one woman for the rest of his life.

    • So he’s good at hitting a small ball a long distance to get near a small hole. Big whoopie. Watching my grandmother knit is more exciting than watching golf. Golfers are morons.

  • I can’t imagine Tiger sitting in group bitching people out. I can’t picture him sitting in group, period.
    He would want the special treatment where he only had to work with doctors and others who would never sell his story to some tabloid. His handlers should have worked that part out for him after they have seen what a shitty job he did with his own p.r.
    I believe he wants to stay with his wife cause he thinks it restores part of his image. He will never change his cattin around ways. He is a manwhore and will always be one. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  • why is this story still getting attention?! Have people never heard of cheating husbands before? Whatever is happening between him, his wife, and his family should’ve stayed private from the beginning!

  • Give Tiger a break. You guys expect someone with amazing athletic prowess to be loyal to just one woman? Men like Tiger are put on this planet to sow their seed with as many women as possible. That’s how Alpha Males work. Most of the other male losers on the planet just get to grovel and admire them while their women throw their panties and room keys at the Tigers of the world. His type wins no matter what. And every one of you women would fuck him if you had the chance.

  • What I think is more important here is that this supposed undisclosed source from the rehab center violated the HIPPA Law. I don’t care if it is Tiger Woods. It’s a huge breach of privacy that shouldn’t be published. I work in the medical field and volunteer for hospice. What ever you see, hear or are involved in stays at work. People go to doctors’ offices and hospitals with the idea that workers are professional, discreet, and sensitive to their reason behind their visit. Rehab is not a miracle wonderland. It takes a lot of time and false starts. Who ever this person was that leaked this information…if it is even true, at best a kernel of truth…(worker, patient or visitor) should have been slapped with a fine.

  • I find the Enquirer’s story very hard to believe!
    Any reputable Rehab program, as the one Tiger attended, has very strict rules and participants that do not abide by these rules are immediately discharged from the program. In addition, it has been widely reported that Tiger completed the program.

  • I think Tiger is in a bind. He is wrong for doing what he did to his wife and kids, but I understand why he did it. Bsiacally, he made a mistake with his decision to get married and start a family. He can get pretty much any girl he wants. He’s probably sick of having sex with his nagging wife anyway and she probably sucks in bed. It really gets boring after a while with the same girl over and over again ( I know personally I get sick of a girl within a year or two no matter how beautiful she is). Face the facts folks, new pu$$y is always better than old pu$$y, its so thrilling and exciting to have sex with a new girl. If you like sex its the only way to live. He should have never gotten married and probably did it because he felt pressure from other people. Personally, I don’t think he will ever change.
    I am 30, single, well paid, well endowed, well educated, attractive and love women like Tiger and I will never get married til I’m like 50 or 60 (to a young girl). lots of women would love to marry me because I look good on paper, but I would never go there because I know I will not remain faithful to any of them. IMHO marriage is for guys who cant get pu$$y on a regular basis. In the mean while I will have safe sex with beautiful women like crazy and hope I don’t catch a disease or make any unwanted babies :) … wish me luck haters… HAHAHAHAHA…….

    I love my life :)

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