It’s been an awesome couple of days for Jessica Simpson, who recently had her vagina’s addictiveness flouted in a Playboy article by John Mayer. He called her “sexual napalm.” The exact quote:
“That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them … Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm … There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, “I want to quit my life and just fuckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.”
Yesterday, Jessica tweeted:
interesting day so far…hmm…at least i am boxing 2-a-days this week
And then when TMZ asked her if she had a comment (video above), she bitterly laughed it off and said she didn’t.
Ummmmm, okay, look, if some guy gave that interview to Playboy about me, I would be thrilled. I would be beyond delighted. I would get a T-shirt made that said “I AM SEXUAL NAPALM” and then I would wear it everywhere. When people asked me what my name is, I would be all like “Well, Playboy just calls me ‘Sexual Napalm.’ So that’s kind of what I go by these days. Did I mention John Mayer would sell all his shit to keep fucking me? Because, yeah. Dudes want to snort me, that’s how good I am in bed.”
You need to own this, Jessica.
now that’s what i’m talkin’ ’bout!
I’m Just getting this out of the way so we can have a real discussion: “I love the smell of sexual napalm in the morning, it smells like (insert further inane comment here).”
Pootie Tang?
she ought to pay him for the golden opportunity to jump start her pathetic career!
i am totes getting that t-shirt even though noone has said it about me.
Not only is Jessica Simpson called “sexual napalm” but her vagina is often compared to being on the “It’s a Small World” ride at Disneyland.
THANK YOU! My thoughts exactly.
I would be really pissed if a major entertainment figure laid out my sex life and prowess in such a public way. First of all, my family doesn’t need to know how I roll when my clothes are off. That’s between me and my man. Second, I have a high level job in a major corporation and it would totally ruin my professional image. No one would ever take me seriously again in a corporate environment.
I can say whatever I want on EB and joke around about sex, etc. because it is anonymous. I could NEVER talk about sex, religion, or politics at my job. I try so hard to be a non-sexual entity at work. So, although the sentiment is nice, I would be Pissed with a capital P. Besides, I like more subtle forms of flattery. Like, write a song just for me and sing it just for me. That would let me know you appreciate my talents.
If you are gonna sleep with John Mayer you pretty well can figure he is gonna have something to say about it. Your body is a wonderland? Ring a bell? I’d take sexual napalm. Anytime a guy says that he would sell his soul to eff me, you can bet I am gonna own it.
Dude, I bet she does own it in everyday life. My beinging a bombshell in bed is probably something she totally owns and surprises a guy she has feelings for. Why is everyone jumping all over that? Some things in that girls life are private, not for public knowledge. DUH!
I think she IS owning it with her lack of response. Instead of saying something annoying like “I can’t believe he would comment on something that should be private” she’s just smiling about it as if she KNOWS her sex is good enough to send hollywood men to rehab. In an industry where sex is often what is being sold, I can only see this helping her career. I don’t even like her, but as someone who enjoys good romps in between the sheets..I gotta say I’m impressed! Go Jessica!
Agreed. I didn’t think she ‘bitterly’ laughed at all. Her laugh actually made me feel like she was a bit entertained by the whole thing. Not reacting more than that is the best way to own it.
I agree, too! I don’t see this hurting her in any way! I would totally take this and run with it. I think her saying anything negative about it would have been a detriment. She played it perfectly.
I thought the same at first. Dang! Who would have thought that JS was so cool? She has been kinda down what with divorce, then the football thing, the mom jeans and the lost dog. So I felt better about her. Then I though JM had finally gone over the edge. This is why JA left him-the TMI-the tweets, then Vanity Fair and Playboy. It was like an overdose and a cry for help. Now I see that Jessica comes out Babe-a-licious and John can get Jennifer back because he has hit rock bottom. Genius!!!
I wonder what Billy Corgan thinks about this?
No one has mentioned what a total back hand he gave to Jennifer in this article. He keeps saying how awesome she was, and what a douchebag he was to break up with her, but then he pretty much tells everyone she’s a has been. I mean, it’s true – she hasn’t done anything worth while in film since Friends (and that show sucked) but to say that she wants to go back to 1998 is sort of a low blow.
Excuse me………………. FRIENDS DID NOT SUCK!
dude!
why did the porn show up with the comments, glad I was not at work or around my kids.
a little warning beet would be nice.
I took the comment about Jen being stuck in 1998 or wanting to go back to ’98 as confirmation that she actually is still not over Brad and that whole period of her life, married and being an “it” girl.
I find the comment about Jessica being sexual napalm etc. to be a little funny – didn’t he break up with her?
I hope Jen can find the strength to move on. She’s so amazing and could do so much if she just chose to turn a new page.
as much as I love this site and agree with a lot of it, not to mention am also a fan of sasha is a monster, this post is just one that I cannot stand by. who wants to even admit to sleeping with someone like john mayer? let alone remind everyone by allowing his big mouth to run all over playboy to make himself sound like the big man by painting an image of bobby brown sucking crack out of a toilet and comparing it to “fucking jessica”? everything about jessica simpson depresses me, and a lot of that has to do with what the media has done to her. it’s bad enough she was created by the corporate machines to be loved by the people just so she could be torn apart and ripped to shreds over every stupid thing she does. we don’t need john mayer adding her name in the press with his retarded associations and attempts to be clever blahblahblah. i am perfectly fine with reading headlines about jessica simpson farting in business meetings rather than knowing all about the unfortunate amounts of sex she gave to losers like this douche.
john mayer is such a boob guy, i mean the 2 women he was most into ??? jessica simpson and jen love hewitt?
I keep reading all these sympathy threads for ‘poor Jess’ and can’t believe how many of you can’t see what’s blatantly staring you in the face (besides jessica’s fake boobs)
Do any of you reeeally believe John Mayer could have commented how he and Jess “… shared a love of scrabble, earl grey tea and planting bonsai’s” in a publication such as Playboy ??
Pffttt..
The woman wears minimum clothing, too much make up, swims in fake tan and pouts an expression like she’s swallowed every recreational drug known to man – not exactly grounds for comments regarding her university intellect
The guy might be a ego maniac but he said outloud what every man shagging the likes of Jessica Simpson would say
… which was pretty damn complimentary if you ask me