Today's Evil Beet Gossip


“Tiger Woods’ problems come from him being married. The end,” Mayer explains. “It has nothing to do with control. If Tiger Woods was a single guy, what sort of angle would there be to a text message? If Tiger Woods was single, and he texted a girl and said ‘I wanna wear your ass like a hat,’ why would that ever hit the news? I can text whatever I want to anybody in the world; I’m not married. I write a lot of dirty text messages to girls, and you’ve never seen any of them. Why? Because if a girl brought a dirty text message from me to the newspapers, they’d say ‘I don’t have an angle here. Someone wants to wear your ass like a hat? Big deal. He’s 32 years old. He’s a single guy. If John Mayer has a wife and sends dirty texts, then we got a story.’ And that’s why I won’t do that. When I get married that’s gonna be my vows, ‘Do you, John Mayer, take this woman to have and to hold, to wear her ass like headgear?’ Yes, I do—you’re the one whose ass I wanna wear like a hat for the rest of my life.”

– John Mayer in The Independent.


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  • It’s known that John Mayer trolls the ranks of fame and wealth for his women. His ladies tend to have too much to lose and little to gain by sharing a JM dirty text. Imagine Minka Kelly or Jen Aniston or Jessica Simpson sharing one of his dirty texts. Compare that to Tiger meeting his chicks at bars and clubs, when a few of Tiger’s women had little of note going for them when they met him.
    True, John Mayer’s single and Tiger isn’t (yet), and that likely has tabloid implications (along with the fact that Tiger’s infinitely more famous than Mayer), but if John Mayer were humping regular hotties from Hoboken and sending them dirty messages, I imagine some of the messages might end up on TMZ, and Beet, at some point.
    Also, John Mayer seems to have missed the part where Tiger (and his handlers) ran his cheating game with precision and few hiccups (i.e. near silence) for quite a few years.

  • This is such a “no shit!” quote. Of course it’s the marriage that makes the difference. Although I would argue that men who constantly need that much poontang that often have some issues (emotional? hormonal? cultural? choose as applicable), it’s pretty clear to me that the upsetting part is not the sex, but the unfaithfulness. What exactly was his point? Did he just want to prove that he understands what it means to take vows? Good job, John Mayer, would you like a cookie?

    • I think this quote was in response to Tiger entering rehab. He doesn’t need to be in rehab. His behavior isn’t compulsive or indicative of any type of disorder.
      It’s just inappropriate because he’s married.

  • Really John Mayer? You’re a f*ckin’ genius. Tiger’s problem isn’t just that he’s married. It’s that he’s married and has no respect towards his marriage. He has no integrity.

    So, John, if you don’t have anything intelligent and meaningful to say, just STFU and continue to bang anything that moves. We know, because you’re SINGLE!!! Aaarrrggghhh.

  • JM’s ridiculous media persona has begun to ruin my love of his music – i thought he started going down hill when he dated Jessica S. but he continues to show us the only depth he has in in his music.

    Plus, this comment contradicts itself.
    First he says the problem is being married, not an issue of self control.
    then he follows it with an “when i’m married i will honor my vows”???

    Tiger’s problem was the unfaithfulness to his vows, not the fact that he was married which yes dipshit that is a problem with control.

    all he is really saying is that no one would care about Tiger’s sex life if he were single, he may be right (doubtful) but that is not the same as Tiger’s actions being a result of him BEING married.

    basically JM is relying on what he thinks is witty, douchey and cute to say…he loves to impress everyone with his jackass comments that still make him seem endearing.
    that is only going to work for so long before the prime choice vaginas are no longer available and he has to resort to Tiger’s sloppy seconds.

    • I’m the opposite – you couldn’t pay me enough to listen to his music, but i fucking love what he says!
      I’d hang out with him — but I’d leave before his concert!

  • :(

    I thought the ‘wearing your ass like a hat/headgear’ was incredibly funny.

    Anyways, obvious fact is obvious.

  • It doesn’t matter if John Mayer is a tool. He doesn’t lie about who he is and there are no appologies. He doesn’t put out a squeeky clean image all the while hiding a darker side. So many celebrities/singers cannot do this for fear of rejection. He’s a very unique artist. He loves to communicate with people, in search of experiences, and living his life on his own terms. He’s a REAL person. I see so many artists who are fake. His life is his art. And you don’t find that very often. Ya, he can be gross and apparently talks too much about what he’s thinking all the time. But at least what you see is what you get. I think Tiger is an amazing golfer who changed the sport and gave it excitement. But he tried to create a life and image that wasn’t who he was at the expense of his wife and children. I think he was doing what he thought was expected of him. I think he has yet to know who he is and live out that life. And when you betray who you truly are…disaster eventually comes knocking.