Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Here Are Your Grammy Dresses and Also My Thoughts on the Grammys

I have to say, this year’s Grammys was the best awards show I’ve seen in a really long time. It reminded me of the VMAs long ago, back when they were a showcase of creative genius and true musical talent and not a platform for Kanye West to embarrass himself annually while the MTV execs cackle with glee over how often this obnoxious, “unplanned” clip is going to be replayed on the nightly news.

The show went smoothly and tastefully. I thought nearly all the performances were mind-blowing — oddly enough, my least favorite was my beloved Taylor Swift’s. I think she just didn’t stand a chance up there compared to some of the most seasoned performers in the world. But she maybe didn’t have to be so flat, either. And, as much as I adore the girl, she probably didn’t deserve album of the year. Like, really, that should have gone to Beyonce or Lady Gaga. Taylor’s great, but that wasn’t the best album released this year. I’m not sure how that happened. I was rooting for Anyone But DMB, so I win regardless.

Here are some more general thoughts:

– Nicole Kidman deserves an honorary mention on the “In Memoriam” section. She looks like she died at least once last year.

– Why were the people in the audience wearing the 3D glasses? Like, Celine Dion was actually singing in front of them.

– I was excited that Beyonce performed that bit from “You Oughtta Know,” but was disappointed that they did that without actually involving Alanis Morrissette. I was also a little disappointed that Beyonce flubbed half the lyrics. Like, seriously, who can’t recite the words to “You Oughtta Know” in their sleep by now? You oughtta know those words, B.

– However, Beyonce Knowles is a phenomenally talented woman. And if you didn’t already know that, she was gonna make damn sure you knew it after tonight. Well-played, B.

– Did anyone else feel like Pink borrowed a little tiny bit from Tori Amos’ “Sugar” during her performance? Or am I making that up? Regardless, the whole thing was genius. GENIUS. It was very much like “HEY I’M PINK AND I’M STILL THE REAL THING, BITCHES.” And I looooved it.

– Hey, remember Norah Jones? No?

Anyway. All the gowns are below. Enjoy. Full list of winners can be found here.

16 CommentsLeave a comment

  • yes beet…i hung in til the bitter end knowing gaga had THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR…wth? not sure what the full criteria are for such an award but 1 or two songs can’t compare to 4 or 5. just as in life nothing but a popularity contest ran by frightened little “sheep” think a great injustice happened there or maybe it was just safer to televise the “safe” winners? and keep the risky winners un-televised.

  • Totally agree. When Taylor Swift won Album of the Year I wanted to barf. I like the girl too – she’s a great role model, she’s sweet, a pretty good songwriter, etc – however, she is probably the most overrated artist right now. The Grammy’s are for MUSICAL ABILITY. That’s not Taylor’s strong point. Plus, she’s 20…..With 4 Grammy’s won, what does she have to look forward to now?

    • Taylor swift wrote most of the lyrics, composed music for, and sang on a record that obviously resonated with a lot of people, in positive ways. Does that not speak to musical ability?
      If you want to argue that Lady Gaga or someone else deserved to win Album of the Year, fine, one can probably mount a solid argument about this; but the age-ism thing is bull. Either Taylor Swift deserved to win the Grammys that she won or she didn’t. The determination of merit should not have to come down to some arbitrary criterion such as ‘five years removed from high school’ or ”four years or more in the business’.
      She didn’t win a Lifetime Achievement award.

  • Pink is the only one with any actual talent. Ok, Lady gaga can write a catchy tune but Kesha? Taylor Swift? Beyonce? Seriously? If this is what people call talent these days then the music industry is totally done for. All I saw was smoke and mirrors, style over substance. SAD.

    And what was that horrid rap mess at the end?

  • Seriously. What woman over the age of 24 DOESN’T know the words to You Oughtta Know??? Beyonce just got knocked down a few pegs in my book.

    • Yeah, totally agree there. I am also sick to Taylor Swifts “oh my god, I’m so shocked I won” look. Get over it, you’ve played it out, just go up there and get you damn award.

    • I KNOW!!! We get it! Sheesh! But I guess it’s better than the alternative “I deserve this award because I’m better than everyone” acceptance speech.

  • Beet, there was a pretty cool video montage during Earth Song that included images of rain forests and MJ. That was the whole purpose of the 3D glasses in the venue — not so the in-house audience could get a better view of Jennifer Hudson’s ample bosom or Celine Dion’s bones.

  • Beet, you totally did not make that up about Pink. When she belted out the word “sugar” it was totally reminiscent of Tori but it put the biggest smile on my face to hear it. One of my fav Tori songs is “Sugar”. I took it as an homage, not a rip-off.

    Yeah, and the 3D glasses were for watching the video playing behind the performers. It gave me a headache to even try to focus on it so i just looked elsewhere.

  • I thought that the music was dull, Pink was fun to watch wet and dangling but the professional trapeze (is that what they were?) women above her were even more amazing (of course, they weren’t “singing” at the same time). Could Pink really have been singing? If so, then she wins the showmanship award – maybe even if she wasn’t singing. But still, this was supposed to be about music, not athletics.

    But Beyonce’s Bendaroo’s Superstring dress? Ugh. And sorry, her voice isn’t that pretty or strong, but her showmanship is good.

    And why was she marching around surrounded by fake cops? This is so Rhythm Nation. Why do these cosseted prima donnas pretend to be tough by wearing tight black leather outfits? So silly.

    The music industry seems to consist mostly of hype and style over substance. It’s time for something new in music and although Lady Gaga wins the outrageous costume award for the rest of our lives, I can’t wait for the next powerful talent to emerge, a la Aretha Franklin, Sam Cooke, Little Richard or the Beatles. Enough with the glitzy vapidity. Surprise us, please!

    • agree completely with you being mystified about beyonce jerkily marching around surrounded by an army of fake cops. it was retarded! why DO these cosseted prima donnas pretend to be tough by wearing tight little outfits? because they are unoriginal and lame, and they don’t have the singing/talent chops to really give a show. the overkill on stage is just to distract from the lack of listenability. i changed the channel and watched American Masters instead. the documentaries on woody guthrie and joan baez were awesome. and neither one was in a sparkly corset with a phalanx of dancers.

      don’t even get me started on lady gaga. every day may be halloween but that egomaniacal hawking and squawking isn’t dancable or musical to my ears.

      also agreed, still waiting a new talent a la aretha, cooke, etc. The current barbie doll musicians who pollute the mainstream with their hamfisted over-produced gargling yelpy singing style is a huge turn off.

      stevie nicks was a pro to let taylor swift do live karaoke with her.

  • All I want is for Taylor to stop wearing the side part.

    And stop letting her stylist** cut on her hair.

    Taylor is about one cut away from getting a head full of extensions to replace all the hair she has let someone cut off!

    She used to have a gorgeous head of hair and now she is down to some thin looking cooked waves. Instead of her normal natural bouncy curls.

    **Look what happen to Jessica Simpson. Go back at look at her pictures from 10 years ago. She had a gorgeous head of hair. Hair she grew herself. Now she has a head full of ratty extensions. It is time to fire that Paves freak and let her hair grow out.

  • And we’re just not going to mention what hideous fishnet explosion that Britney Spears was wearing?!

  • Even the low key Haiti telethon was more “artistic” than the Grammy awards. Sure bored the hell out of me. Thank God for TiVo! All glitz and glamour indeed – but the highest ratings in six years – so what the hell do I know?

  • “Why were the people in the audience wearing the 3D glasses? Like, Celine Dion was actually singing in front of them. ”

    Are you an idiot? The video on the screen BEHIND the singers was in 3D.

    And the only words Beyonce skipped is the part involving swear words…. “Are you thinking of me when you FUCK HER”

    As for the Taylor Swift album of the year argument, the album of the year is based on an entire body of work, not just a few songs and some crazy outfits. Taylor Swift had a part in writing and composing EVERY song on her album. That counts for something and the Grammy voters acknowledged that last night.

  • Beet, I was assuming you were being semi sarcastic about the 3-D classes, like celine-fucking-dion was standing right in front of you, forget the dumb video montage, but these other commenters are making me wonder…