I should have WordPress set to automatically post a generic “Brad and Angelina have not split up” article every 2 months. That seems to be the shelf life the media has decided upon for their relationship. Every two months or so, like clockwork, they are rumored to be splitting up.
Mark it down on your iCal right now: on March 24th, Brad and Angelina will “split up” again.
I’m a little disappointed in the discretionary powers of the internet (as usual) considering that this time, the rumor was started by News of the World. News of the World is like the slutty cokehead in your high school gym class who slept with the football team in a misguided attempt to improve her self worth. When she tells you her parents bought her a Bugatti for her 16th birthday, but no one’s ever seen it because she just doesn’t like to drive in morning traffic, you shouldn’t believe her.
This time, News of the World alleged that the pair had met with a “high-powered attorney” (who they wouldn’t name) to iron out an agreement for the breakup that saw the couple retaining joint custody of their troop of Captain Planeteers and equally splitting their $300 Million fortune.
Every two months, rags like News of the World get bored and make up rumors like this one to get people who wouldn’t normally read their stories about half-man-half-bat boy to pay attention to their flotsam.
But you shouldn’t believe them. Like I said, the cokehead does not have a Bugatti.
My local news station, KTLA, just ran this story. But they ran it like it was a real story, and they actually named their source as News of the World!
I was so horrified that I e-mailed them and asked if somebody in their entertainment department had lost a bet. That’s the only thing that makes any sense…
It was on my local station, too. WGAS, Who Gives a Shit.
i could not care less about this couple, but kelly you are hilarious
I think she should be with johnny lee miller
HACKERS!
they are destined.
I bet money they do spilt at some point given how, ehh, “special” Angelina is. And then, the world will be right again, when Brad and Jen reunite, do a blockbuster film together, re-marry and have their own kids!
The National Enquirer is reporting it too. Say what you will about them, they have been right on lately.
BEARD + DREADS= BREADS. I CANNOT GET INTO BRAD WITH HIS BREADS.
Yeasty.
I was soooo hoping this was true…
They look like a haggard, old married couple. Their Hollywood shelf life is running out.
Great headline!!
I wish they would just end it already so the relentless speculation can stop. She is a haggard bitch, and he is a washed-up, used-to-be-hot actor. You don’t hear rumours like this circulate about every Hollywood couple for a reason. They always look fucking miserable.
what the fuck is on his face
Oh my god that headline was amazing.
Brad grew that nasty thing to get rid of her. It’s his way of saying “We had great sex but you’re weird and I’m over you”.
Now he just needs to grow a pair and actually leave her bony ass.
You know wedding vows are sacred, just like the way jolie(no saint) feels about kids, cheating on someones marriage is no joke, celebrity or not, if he leaves you will be getting exactly what you deserve!!!!!!
what the fuck is that beard!!!!!!! O_o xDDD Brad you are not the same…
angelina, are you dead?? :S