I never cared much about Emmy Rossum. I’d see a photo of her on the red carpet as I was thumbing through a million event photos and yawn. She’s completely boring and I don’t even know why she’s famous. But I didn’t mind her, I just didn’t care about her.
I hate that little bitch. She’s on my shit list.
Why, you ask? Oh, just a little item that’s been floating around the Internet in the past day or two:
Her husband filed for divorce on September 25, but Emmy Rossum has already moved on to a new man. The 23-year-old actress, who reportedly split from music business exec Justin Siegel in August after a year-and-a-half secret marriage, has been cozying up to Counting Crows front man Adam Duritz, 45. The pair were spotted on a romantic dinner at Dos Caminos restaurant in New York’s SoHo neighborhood earlier this month, and on September 23, the Phantom of the Opera starlet and the singer made sweet music with a duet at the National Parks Conservation Association’s concert to celebrate National Parks Week in New York’s Central Park.
“They were staring into each other’s eyes,” an onlooker tells In Touch of the couple as they sang “Going Back to Georgia.” After the Counting Crows finished their set, Emmy and Adam brought the sizzle offstage. “They went back to his trailer together. They had their arms around each other and were kissing,” an insider tells In Touch. “They are totally dating and aren’t afraid to show it.”
Yeah, so, ya know, fuck that. I’ve been trying to land Adam Duritz for the past decade, this chick is already married to someone else, and then she swoops in and steals him? And she’s 23 years old? Fuck. That. Shit. Adam, this be some booollshit. This girl was in preschool when August and Everything After came out. She probably just started her period last year. Her husband probably had to teach her how to put a tampon in. She doesn’t appreciate you the way that I do. Adam, baby, she just got divorced. Did I mention she’s 23? Where do you see this going? It’s silly, pookie. Stop wasting your time and come cuddle up with me in bed. We can do a different kind of duet — you will sing along to your albums while my mouth is otherwise occupied. Sound better than a Parks & Recreation concert? I thought so.
Oh, and Emmy? Watch your back, beyotch.