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132The Duggars Are Stupid

Big news!  Michelle Duggar finally got her extended mullet cut off!  I kid, I kid.  No, Michelle Duggar is pregnant again.  This time — not kidding.  They did what any normal family would do:  They told the Today show audience right away!

It’s so funny, because Meredith Viera said the Duggar family had an announcement to make — seriously, is there any other kind of announcement other than a pregnancy announcement?  Like, as soon as Michelle Duggar says, “I have something to tell you,” whomever she is speaking to should reply, “You’re knocked up, right?”

“I was wanting pickles and the older girls were saying, ‘Mom, you only crave these at the very beginning of being pregnant, You kept it from us before, now tell us. Are you?’” Michelle says. “And I kept telling them I wasn’t. I just wanted some pickles.” 

But when she couldn’t lose weight on her diet, she became suspicious. 

“I was in Weight Watchers with Jim Bob and I wasn’t losing any weight,” she says. “I couldn’t figure it out. I was doing what I should. And the baby, who was nursing, was fussy. I kept thinking, ‘This isn’t right. She isn’t teething, she doesn’t have an ear infection. I’m not cheating on my diet, I should be losing weight.’ Then, I put two and two together and wondered if I could possibly be pregnant.” 

She took out one of two tests she had in the house and it was immediately positive. 

“I told Jim Bob and he couldn’t keep it in, he was so excited.  The kids were outside playing on a water slide and he gathered them together and had to share the news. There was all this screaming and yelling.” 

I find this amazing on so many levels.  She’s had eighteen kids — and a grandbaby due next month — and really was shocked to find out she was pregnant?  She still hasn’t figured out what causes this condition?  Longed for her number one pregnancy craving food, trouble nursing, couldn’t lose weight — what could it be?  Appendicitis, clearly.

So many questions to be answered:  Have the Duggars run out of “J” names?  Would they consider naming the baby “Justletmebethelast”?  Will this be the pregnancy that causes Michelle Duggar’s clown car uterus to finally run away screaming?  Which Duggar will be the one to go bad and revolt against the church and excessive reproduction?  My money is on Jedidiah, just because.

The father says that there was all this “screaming and yelling” when the newest pregnancy was announced.  What Rocket Sperm Duggar doesn’t tell you is that the ruckus was actually the kids shouting, “When the fuck do I get out of this factory?”

September 1, 2009 at 7:22 am by Wendie
Filed Under: Uncategorized

132 Responses to “The Duggars Are Stupid”

  1. Artemis says:

    By the way, Blue, thanks for mentioning me in your awesome rant!

  2. Artemis says:

    Josh, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn, and Josie….Josh, Jana, John-David, Jill……

    Arghhh!!!! It’s stuck in my head!!!

  3. Reality says:

    Real Estate Agents. WhoHaaah! Want to act like their not on the take-FYI theys on the take. I’m sure packages arrive from some christian organization food-cash whatever you need its for the cause. Ya better claim it. Oh excuse me-$75k episode. Ok it all makes sense let me knock up my petree dish 18 times you get a show that pays for what youv’ve done. All in the name of Fortune and fame. Then when it comes time for school they will qualify for every grant and free aid known to taxpayer or not known because only the taxpayer in this country has its head buried deeper in the ground than the ostritch. This size family nowadays totally unnatural. The woman has been pregnant for 20 straight years. Take your smiles and stick em up yours. If even 2% of people did what the Dogoodars did the Christian church would not just be for planned parenthood and mandatory birth control they would enforce it. But the government would have beaten them to the punch when they saw the giant vacuum suctioning taxpayer money.

  4. Christine says:

    reality your so unreal. i think that if everybody in this country would give $1 for each of their children it would be no big deal. and so what if 1000 or 10000 couples decided to be like duggars we could give them each a quarter or a nickel for each child. no big deal. i could just use the money my parents give me. stop bitching and just give your extra money.

    • Enough is enough says:

      Are you insane?… why should everyone give this woman a dollar because she doesn’t have the sense to stop having children. It is not the responsibility of others to bridge the gap between this family’s insatiable quest for more offspring and their actual means. The “just a dollar” argument is horseshit. Suggesting that it would not be much of a burden on the average citizen to support this family ignores the fact that it is not the average citizen’s responsibility to do so in the first place. If this family has the means to support this many children without government support, then who am I to judge, but shame on them if they seek out any government support beyond what the average family would receive. Giving a family like this money simply endorses this sort of irresponsibility. How about giving a dollar to the families who decide to have only the number of children the can realistically support and care for. So you know… encouraging responsible behaviour, instead of insanity, makes sense right? Oh and don’t tell me to stop bitching… tell this crazy woman to stop having children.

  5. Jan says:

    The number of children is really a concern within the view of each child having adequate parental attention and each child being able to grow and develop through normal develoipmental stages, as opposed to jumping straight into the responsibilities of parenthood. The babies, according to what I heard from Michelle on a TV interview, are handed off at six months to be raised by an older chlld because “she could not possibly do all of this herself”. Well, if she spent some of her procreation time giving more individual attention to each child, I am sure that all of the children would greatly appreciate that. Acording to her comments in a magazine, she regrets that she does not have more individualized personal time – is she crazy?? Stay out of the covers and in the rooms with the children . Parenthood involves responsibility, as opposed to always giving in to lustful urges – and definitely not labeling those urges as their Christian responsibilities.
    In addition, the newest addition is a child with multiple special needs, and an artlicle I read said Michelle may be pregnant again. Who is supposed to give the time and attention to the child with all of the disabilities. And did she ever think that her “baby factory” may be depleated of essential nutrients needed to assure any more healthy babies. This thought is not conjecture, but based in real scientific evidence.

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  10. robliam says:

    Michelle Duggar must have a uterus that is strapped to the inside of her leg since the 12th pregnancy…..and I HATE how she and Jim-Bob still talk to their kids (yes, even the ones who are adults now) like they are 3 year olds on their way to the potty.

  11. Jess says:

    trust me,without this show/gov support, this baby factory would be closed down for good by the child protective services.This show deceives people into thinking that a couple with 19 kids can support itself. Maybe in the Duggars case,but defiantly not in most cases.These people are anything but smart! What have they contributed to this world?Only a bunch of babies,on a conveyor belt with the letter “J” stamped on them.These kids will never get enough? indv.attention from these ppl.

  12. Anonymous says:

    You tax dollars at work

  13. ruth says:

    the duggare are very nuts

  14. Sarah433 says:

    The Duggars make me sick. do you know that they don’t pay taxes on their house because it is a “church”. how pathetic. If they want that many kids there is no reason they should get any financial breaks. And its just my opinion but i find Jim Bob and Josh to be a little creepy, like perverts.

  15. Debra says:

    Cam you believe it? The old bag is gonna hatch another one. I feel sorry for the girls who will be strapped with even more responsiblity for a baby that just might be mentally disabled since Michelle is 45 years old now. She and JimBob are the most selfish, uncaring, iggnorant, stupid people I’ve ever seen in my whole life. That such ignoramuses are propogating is even more alarming.

  16. jp says:

    i dont think a miscarriage that early should even count as a child. and whats with this family and stupid names they are giving the latter kids. well maybe the next one will have a normal one

  17. Debra says:

    I heard they had a memorial service for the kid. I bet they didn’t have a memorial service for her other miscarriages. Just more evidence they are will do just about anything to keep their dopey show on the air for even dopier viewers who think this is real life.

  18. vomitorium says:

    Yes those dudes have that Chester-the-molester rubber face.

  19. Jumping Jehoshaphat says:

    So if Jimbob and Michelle are both genetic psychopaths (as they have many of the signs of psyhcopathy, Dr. Robert Hare has a checklist) and since this IS a genetic trait, how many of these kids are also genetic psychopaths? Jinger and Josh certainly seem to be. So let’s see this on one of their shows. An MRI set up by an expert like Kent Kiehl or Adam Perkins or Adrian Raine (these men all do MRI’s that check for psychopathy) and start running the adult-age family memebers through. There are also genetic and chromosomal markers that can be checked. So even if there are some who aren’t psychopaths, they carry the genetic material to make more.

    By the way, if you think psychopaths are crazy, murdering, insane people, those are only the extreme end of the spectrum. The vast majority of people without a conscience are everyday people. Their brains don’t process the emotions of love, empathy, guilt, shame or gratefulness. Some of the of the traits are: wanting to be worshiped and to dominate. This often comes in the form of wanting to be on camera and or in the public eye and wanting others to come to you for advice. Think about the way they raise these kids. They worship the parents and the girls sit around waiting for a man, don’t get a college education and are basically stranded in this life. Cults like the Duggars raise kids up with “learned helplessness.” There are many books written about the damage done to women and children in these cults and most of the authors say that it’s very hard to leave as all of your support is based in cult.

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