Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Phelpsy Was in a Car Crash!


Phelpsy and I have a cosmic connection. Let me explain: I was in a nasty car crash last week. Then, tonight, I was at this dueling piano bar and there was this totally wasted chick and she was hanging over all these guys, but there was this one she was paying the most attention to, and I realized his face looked exactly like Michael Phelps, but his body wasn’t exactly Phelpsy quality. And then I turned to my girlfriend and relayed my observation. And then I Twittered it, because when I have an important thought like that, it’s crucial the world know immediately.

But then I started getting all these tweets back alerting me to the fact that Michael Phelps got in a car wreck tonight! ZOMG! Phelpsy was practically in my bar and then he got in a car wreck just like me and this is definitive proof that we are soulmates.

Phelpsy’s Cadillac hit a Honda Accord and what sounds like a third parked car. Nobody was seriously injured and, shockingly enough, police say there was no sign alcohol was involved. Good for you, Phelpsy! Driving sober for once!

10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Good God he’s ugly. If I have to be forced to see pictures of him, at least he can fix his teeth.

  • Supposedly, Phelps yelled at the folks taking pictures / video of the incident to erase all the pictures / videos. He was speeding and ran a red light before he hit the other vehicle(s).

    What a tool.

    • Actually it was ruled that the other driver ran the read light… Get all you facts together before you jump the gun (ie stop listening to Perez Hilton)…


      Long live Phelps

  • you just dissed and dismissed my hot fucking porn as spammy . it’s hot . u miss out .go fuck yourself .oh , sorry that sounds so tacky. I am sorry that you did not get a chance to enjoy my ” spam ” .

  • Sorry, Beat. Turns out he’s admitted to drinking before the crash and has been sited.
    *sigh* Phelpsy, Phelpsy, Phelpsy…

  • Phelps totally looks like my boifriend. You should see the picture of him. The same height, The same smile . features. donno. everything. It blows my mind