Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jessica Simpson Sings National Anthem, Remembers Lyrics

Jessica Simpson sang the National Anthem at a golf tournament that boyfriend Tony Romo — he was booed by spectators, because he was a Dallas Cowboys quarterback golfing in Washington Redskins territory and that’s bad —  played in yesterday in Bethesda, Maryland.  And you know, she didn’t suck.  Some news outlets are calling her screechy, belting out of “The Star Spangled Banner” offensive, but those underdeveloped, overextended vocal cords have sold a massive amount of albums.  She remembered the lyrics and no neighborhood cats appeared in hopes of using her leg as a scratching post.  I consider it a success.

What I do find offensive:  Horizontal stripes on Jessica Simpson.  Offensive.  Every time.

26 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Why does she look so stupid while singing? Her head moves around so much and her mouth is HUGE. I just can’t watch her….it embarrasses me.

  • I suppose it’s too much to ask for people to sing well and while doing so, avoid making weird faces.

    It looked like she really had something to prove out there. I suppose she does. And that is why she chose the horizontal mess. She wanted the vocals to get attention so she looked pregnant on purpose to stir the press machine. The Simpson camp knows how it all works too well.

    I’ve always thought she had potential. I just consistently hated her artistic choices in every song. How she sold albums, I’ll never know.

  • Wow. That was painful. There’s this great thing singers have and its called a singing/head voice. She should very seriously start using it or whatever little vocal ability she has will vanish pretty damn fast. But, wow. Ouch.

  • oh my…she does look like a little pork sausage in that striped dress. It’s great to watch the video with the sound off – all the better to see the head movements…whoa.

  • OMG is it just that horrible “freddie Kruger” dress or the fact that she is soooo FAT!! ??

    • Are your tits that big? Do you look as good in a bikini as she did back in the Dukes of Hazard’s days?

      • Donkey Punch, seriously. I have never seen you write something that wasn’t blatantly posted to stir shit.


  • The song isn’t offensive! It’s our national anthem, for one, and I think what makes it obnoxious is how everyone who sings it tries to use it as a platform for their vocal range and belting capabilities and detracts from the importance of the song. It’s like bedazzling the flag.
    As for Jessica singing it, I couldn’t watch for more than a few seconds because I experienced that excruciating sense of mortification for her, but I did listen to it. I think she’s trying to create a new sound (black gospel or country, I can’t tell), but it came off as really strained because all she did was belt the entire thing. That takes a lot of energy but I’m glad I only heard a small snippet of her trademark babyish voice that makes my want to gag and throttle her. I don’t know what to say. There were some good moments in an otherwise painfully bad performance.

  • Didn’t anyone ever tell her that bigger girls shouldn’t wear horizontal stripes? Glad to see her with a little more meat on her bones but geesh she could have done it while wearing something a little more flattering and well, nicer; after all she is singing our NATIONAL ANTHEM!

  • A cappella, live, outdoors I think she kicked ass! I am willing to bet nobody who posted here could have sang it better then she did. I am quit sure of that.

  • Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean my opinion about her voice is invalid. I can’t make movies either, but know when I have enjoyed one.

  • awww… I thought it was so cute that when they started booing him, she asked if he had cops around him.. lol

  • Why does everyone have to sing a national anthem like that (or at least, I’m speaking of Canada and the US since I don’t know other anthems)? I hate when they over emote, like they’re going to burst into tears because they love their country just. so. much. And yes, the way her head moves around and suddenly her eyes pop open makes her look….. oh, there’s no nice way to say it but you know what I mean.

    Of course she knows all the words. She’s made her way through the pageant and talent show scene as a child. Isn’t that the first thing they make you learn when they trot you out?

  • she is trying way too hard, its so fake. she just doesn’t get it. and she looks terrible. huge tits though. she needs to get that ass and fat belly in shape.

  • I was reminded of her ex John Mayor when watching…they both make the same ugly faces. As for her weight, who among us hasn’t gained some lbs.? I could think of worse offenses and maybe the rest of Hollywood could stand to move up a size!

  • Yikes! Stripes! Looks likes she’s got a pen full of pigs wrestling in that dress. What the hell happened to her? Please someone stop her from eating! I agree she looks a hot mess singing.

  • What in the worl are you all talking about. Lol dont you have anything better to do than pick on incredibly hot girls? Apparently not. And apparently youre insecure and threatened, or just an idiot to say that girl is fat. Its called extreme hotness, just accept that some girls have it and you dont, the world isnt fair. But you reveal yourself quite a bit when you feel the need to insult a girl just because she’s wearing a tight form fitting dress with horizontal stripes. Its called SHAPE. And what a woman should look like. Not some rail thin waife who is so insecure shes either aneroxic or bulimic.