Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Did Anyone Catch Paris Hilton on Kathy Griffin’s Show Last Night?

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First off, if you’re not watching My Life on the D-List, you’re missing out on one of the best shows on TV. Kathy Griffin is a comedic genius, just hands-down hilarious. In last night’s episode, she was trying to expand her fan base by getting in with “young Hollywood,” and, to do that, she went shopping with Paris Hilton.

This was all going reasonably well, with Paris being no more obnoxious than the absolute minimum we can expect from her (“Sorry, I just like to pose while I stand”), when Paris decides, with no leading on the part of Kathy, to weigh in on the very pressing issue of blow jobs: “I never do that. My mom always taught me, ‘Only ugly girls need to go down on their knees and do things like that.’” Ummmmm, really, Paris? (In case you couldn’t guess, that link is NSFW.)

Later in the show, Kathy asks how tall she is, and she says she’s 5’8″. I know that’s the standard party line for Paris’s height, but I’ve seen the girl in person without heels, and I have a really hard time believing she’s taller than I am (I’m 5’7″ … for reals). In fact, I have a hard time believing she’s taller than about 5’5″. I’ve stood next to Nicky on more than one occasion, and that girl’s exactly five feet tall, on a good day. If you look at pictures of Paris and Nicky next to each other, without shoes on, like this one, it’s pretty hard to believe that she’s that much taller than her sister.

And it brings us back to the time she told Larry King she’d never ever ever done drugs in her life, despite the countless leaked photos of her doing drugs. Why does this girl insist on publicly lying about things that can be easily proven to be lies? What sort of bizarre, narcissistic world does she live in where she can just say whatever and assume the whole world will believe it to be true despite tremendous evidence to the contrary? It is so annoying. Equally as annoying as the assumption that oral sex is for ugly people. Maybe, just maybe, it’s for people who actually care about finding multiple ways to pleasure their partner, because they have some sort of awareness that other people exist and have value. BUT YOU WOULDN’T KNOW ABOUT THAT, WOULD YOU, PARIS?

39 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Well in her mom’s defense… Paris is not a pretty girl, so there you have it!

    On another reality based note, the Life on the D-list is hilarious, it’s even tivo worthy, Kathy is so funny and the shows where she tortures her mom are hilarious.

    • “Well in her mom’s defense… Paris is not a pretty girl, so there you have it!”

      Hahaha!

      So so true… she is not what I would call pretty.

      Between those stupid headbands… bad weaves… and that wonky eye… she is lucky for what ever d*ck roams her way.

      And Paris lives in a world that her Mother built for her.

      That includes the delusion that she is going to marry well… and that having got herpes at the age of 15 does not count against her.

      The girl never got pass the 9th grade. So she still thinks her obvious lies are not transparent.

      But I did think she was taller… like 5’10ish… I guess with those feet of hers… in those size 12 platform stilettos… she just seemed taller.

  • oral sex IS for ugly people :P.
    i’ve been measured lots of times by multiple people and each person told me a different height. it varied by a few inches.
    and some people don’t consider weed a drug. it could’ve been prescribed… to a friend, from whom she borrowed the narcotic. big deal.

  • I just started watching D-List! My first was the one with Paula Deen. So funny! I was totally surprised when Paris said she was 5’7″. Doesn’t she wear size 11 shoes or something? How does she have such gigantic feet when she’s so short??

  • Ann, what are you talking about? That is not a small “cock”.

    Also, I like how when you click the links, it opens a new window instead of going there and then you have to click back to get back here. Yay. =]

  • Beetster, I thought I might be in love with you until I found out that you will occasionally give your man a hummer. Now I know I am.

  • Aw how quickly she forgot sucking a music deal with Gnarls Barkley and Ce Lo and putting aside her racist views..

  • I am so glad I have come to see the goodness, brutal truthfulness and light that is Kathy Griffin. Back in the old Seinfeld days, I thought she was an annoying loudmouth, but that’s cause I was a douche for thinking Jerry was the second-coming of comedy.

    Now, Beet… I want you to go back and read what you wrote. Pray tell, where is the public that generally accepts Paris’ transparent denials as truth? And does she believe what she says? Yes, because she IS bizarre and narcisisstic (sp, I know..)
    Her height concerns me greatly, what kind of freak of human anatomy is she? Size ELEVEN feet and she’s no more than 5’6″ or 5’7″ at best?!?! I wear a 9 1/2 or a 10 and I’m 5’10″. And my feet even feel huge on me…

    • No, and now we know why Paris can’t hold on to a man! I know no man could hold on to me without giving…

  • SOOOO glad to wake up this morning and see you wrote about this. Last night when I heard her say that my jaw dropped (giggle) and I was like “wtf?” Did she really just say that? And I wondered myself why she blatantly lies about things when everyone and their mom saw her blow a guy on video. So either she knows that everyone knows shes a liar and is just denying because she can, or she really does believe in her mind she hasn’t done these things. It’s very odd.

    And I’m pretty sure some of the most beautiful people in the world give blow-jobs. I highly doubt that Angelina Jolie passes up sucking off Brad Pitt…

  • God, Paris Hilton is dumb.

    Only ugly people have oral sex…. What the hell goes through her mind after she says this shit. I hope she knows she’s the biggest idiot prick bitch in the world. I always thought she was really tall. I’m 5’2 and i wear a 7 1/2. I think my feet are kinda big for my height. So her feet must be huge. If she’s only around 5’6.

  • Haha! Watched this last night too, I love me some D-List!

    I was watching it with my mom and she had to rewind it just to make sure we heard it correctly, we did. Then she half-jokingly told me I should follow that rule to which I replied that “Only dumb girls make sex tapes”. She laughed :)

    Also, did anyone else watch the re-run of the American Idol MJ week Fox had on last night? I also watched this with my mom and we got into a debate on whether Gokey was sweating through his thick jacket or if it was just an unfortunate pattern on the back. We unfortunately had to re-watch his performance 5+ times and we still couldn’t decide.

  • I think she knows she is lying and that is a way to get talked about in the media.
    After all if she lies we all go and Google the truth which raises her popularity both on the internet and also get her attention on blogs like this.
    It’s a win win for someone who is famous for achieving nothing of real significance or value.
    She is is smarter than we realize, the dumb girl giving blow jobs is her ticket to fame.

  • Totally just watched D-List for the first time…the show is FREAKING HILARIOUS! Kudos Evil Beet!

    Did anyone see Paris’ hair when she hugged Kathy goodbye…looks like she has a bald patch in that thin hair…grosssss

  • I saw that episode the other night and thought it was hilarious. It was my first episode that i ever watched of hers and I could not stop laughing. She is my second favorite comedian besides Chelsea Handler. I can’t wait to watch more of Kathy’s shows

  • PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION.

    FOR MORE INFORMATION, DO A GOOGLE SEARCH WITH MY NAME (BRANDON M. WITTE) WITH HER NAME. ALSO, THE WEB SITE PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM CONTAINED MUCH OF THIS INFORMATION.

    SINCERLEY, BRANDON M. WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS
    AGE: 33

  • Her mother deserves the prize for Mother of the Year. Somehow my mother in all her blessed wisdom forgot to instruct me in the art of sexual etiquette. I can imagine Mrs. Hilton instructing her daughters about this topic. The name of the lesson entitled “Fellatio and You,” containing nifty and colorful illustrations to show the young Hilton girls how “beautiful” people have sex.

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