Jobs has been dealing with an “undisclosed medical condition” and has been on leave from Apple since January. Speculation about the return of the pancreatic cancer with which he was diagnosed in 2004 has been causing the price of Apple stock to have more ups and downs than Lindsay Lohan on a cocaine and Xanex binge.
Since many see Jobs’ return to the helm of Apple twelve years ago, and the subsequent release of a little product called the iPod, as the sole reason for the company’s current success, fears abound that the company could quickly go down the crapper if Jobs weren’t around any more.
Now, the Wall Street Journal is reporting that about two months ago, Jobs received a liver transplant at a hospital in Tennessee. The entire procedure was kept very hush-hush, and Jobs still has not explained exactly what his health problem is. He had previously attributed it to a “hormonal imbalance,” but pancreatic cancer often metastasizes to other organs, particularly the liver.
Jobs is said to be doing well and is expected to be back at work, at least part time, within a few months.
Right now, half of you are very worried about the CEO’s health and are incredulous that somehow Jobs managed to have a liver transplant without the whole world finding out. The other half of you are going, “ZOMG, WTF Who cares? Who is this old guy? More Lindsay Lohan titty pics!” But the half of you that thought that have probably already quit reading this, so I can just tell you to piss off.