Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Steve Jobs Gets Liver Transplant


Jobs has been dealing with an “undisclosed medical condition” and has been on leave from Apple since January. Speculation about the return of the pancreatic cancer with which he was diagnosed in 2004 has been causing the price of Apple stock to have more ups and downs than Lindsay Lohan on a cocaine and Xanex binge.

Since many see Jobs’ return to the helm of Apple twelve years ago, and the subsequent release of a little product called the iPod, as the sole reason for the company’s current success, fears abound that the company could quickly go down the crapper if Jobs weren’t around any more.

Now, the Wall Street Journal is reporting that about two months ago, Jobs received a liver transplant at a hospital in Tennessee. The entire procedure was kept very hush-hush, and Jobs still has not explained exactly what his health problem is. He had previously attributed it to a “hormonal imbalance,” but pancreatic cancer often metastasizes to other organs, particularly the liver.

Jobs is said to be doing well and is expected to be back at work, at least part time, within a few months.

Right now, half of you are very worried about the CEO’s health and are incredulous that somehow Jobs managed to have a liver transplant without the whole world finding out. The other half of you are going, “ZOMG, WTF Who cares? Who is this old guy? More Lindsay Lohan titty pics!” But the half of you that thought that have probably already quit reading this, so I can just tell you to piss off.

16 CommentsLeave a comment

  • And the other half of us are on Macs and are screaming and tearing our hair!! ;) Steve Jobs, you are the man! Get better!

  • I’m going to have to bet that the more money you have, the easier it is to hide these things. And having it done in TN instead of some top hospital in NYC or LA helps too.

    Be well Mr. Jobs.

    • He did go to the one place I would have went for this kind of surgery… which I suspect was The Vanderbilt medical complex in Nashville, Tennessee. It is a premiere top notch hospital. One I would want to be at with this kind of illness.

      I realize people tend to think for some bizarre reason that NYC or LA is the only place with decent care. But it is far from the truth. And this man had the cash to pay for the very best and he went to Tennessee to get it handled… should be hint what kind of place it is….

      Just like Dallas has the premiere burn care unit at Parkland hospital. Which is part of the whole Southwest Medical School of Dallas. There is outstanding care all over the South.

  • He and his Mac underlings are innovators and inspiring. Hope to see him healthy, in his black mock-turtleneck soon. Get well, Mr. Jobs!

  • Yes get well Steve; my retirement stocks are depending on it. Still a PC person, but money is in Apple. Go figure.