Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Susan Boyle is Still a Virgin


The homely singer is getting ready for the final round of Britain’s Got Talent, and she’s heavily favored to win. Amanda Holden, a judge on the show, has invitied Demi and Ashton to attend the final show since the couple are supposedly big fans of the Boyle. She’s even received a personal invitation from her majesty to appear at the Royal Variety Performance– which will be embarrassing if she doesn’t win, since that honor is typically reserved for the winner of BGT.

And in case you were wondering about the sate of the 48 year old’s hymen, it remains intact– a fact that BGT’s promotional team would like you to remember. Because isn’t it amazing that an unattractive middle-aged virgin can sing? It just doesn’t make any sense! You have to be pretty and thin to be able to sing, like 99% of the female artists who have record deals today, right?

Oh wait, no. Actually, what you look like or how much sex you’ve had has absolutely nothing to do with how well you can sing. I’ll leave the oral jokes up to you.

24 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Uch, I really don’t want her to get through. I live in the UK, and I don’t know if anyone else has seen the other acts, but there are loads better ones!! I suggest you check out Shaheen Jafargholi or Faces of Disco!!

  • You know Susan, even if your hymen’s intact, if you have ever used that necklace for any sort of bead-requiring activities for other areas, the term virgin would be a tiny bit misleading.

      • Well virgin gives the sense of being pure and good, so if she’s using those as anal beads, maybe technically she would still be a virgin, but it wouldn’t have the same wholesome meaning to it.

      • You bitches are sick! I’d love to say more but I’m gonna go beat off now.

      • i think your quite cruel. i’m 27 and a virgin, though am not ugly or hugely pretty either though it shouldn’t matter if susan is a virgin. she has a great voice and funny personality which is what counts so i think your being harsh about her, looks aren’t everything. i takeit you are a vain person??

    • I think she’s awesome! Her voice is amazing. I’d like to think we could put her looks aside and be happy for her. (there are way uglier people than her out there) This poor woman has been bullied most of her life. To think of all the assholes who have teased her, fuck you fuckballs. What they SHOULD do is have people sing behind a curtain. That way, you’d hear the talent and not judge by looks. I hope she kicks ass!

  • it is very unlikely that Susan Boyles hymen is still intact even if she is a virgin because as you age your hymen starts to disintegrate so your comment is somewhat untrue but I did enjoy your joke. I just thought that you might want to be informed that the said statement is false. Susan Boyle has a lovely voice and i do hope she wins.

  • First of all, I cannot believe we’re discussing intact hymens. In regards to an old bird. Who has what looks like a herpes simplex 10 outbreak crusted over her upper lip. I guess that could explain the whole thing though.

    Secondly – the Boyle

    That was good. Damn near pissed my undies.

    • I don’t think that is herpes on her upper lip, it looks more like a bodged attempt at using facial wax to remove her moustache, and as to the question of intact hymens…well I’d rather not even go there – literally or metaphorically ugh!
      Not too imppressed by her singing either, personally I think that Natalie Okra was better. And all those suggestive hip thrusts and thumbs up gestures she keeps performing like a retarded child is just embarrassing to watch.
      She’s had her 15 minutes of fame, now I wish she’d just go away.

  • I can’t believe that people are so mean. Why can’t we all enjoy her incredible voice and wish her a fascinating experience and overwhelming joy when she sings for the Queen? Life is brief. We are all in this journey together with the same fraility of life. Look upward and smile!

    • i agree with you!! looks aren’t everything and singing for the queen is a great opportunity it’s a shame she didn’t win as last year george sampson also did break dancing like diversity so i think a singer should have won.
      stavros flatley the father and son act were my real faves though, very funny and different.
      all i say is to the mean people about there, get over yourselves as being pretty isn’t everything and i think susan ought to remain the way she is!

  • Where did she ever say that?
    She’s said a million times that she was kidding about never being kissed, and she was quite pretty when she was younger.
    Get over it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.