Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Wait-I Was… Wrong?

justin jessica

Didn’t I predict that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel were going to be breaking up?  I’m pretty sure I did.  So what in the hell is Justin doing making positive statements in the media about his little hooker with a heart?  In this month’s print issue of Hello magazine,(and speaking of “Hello”, uh, hello?  Is that even a real magazine?)  the former boybander was happy to swoon about his girlfriend of two years:

Recent paparazzi shots of Jessica trying on rings at a Los Angeles jeweler have only served to fuel the gossip that a wedding is [in] the cards – despite denials from Justin.

“I’ve been very lucky to find a woman as dynamic and as loving as Jessica,” says Justin. “Work has always been a huge focus in my life but now I realize how beautiful it can be to have someone to share it with. I’m so happy to have a great woman in my life.”

Q: Has it been difficult to keep you relationship as private as you might like?
“We do pretty much everything we want to do. Sometimes we get spotted by the paparazzi but usually we can find a quiet place to eat and no one will bother us. It can be distracting but you learn to keep walking and pay no attention.”

Q: Why is this relationship so special?
“We get along so well. The first thing we noticed when we started going out is how easily we made each other laugh. Sometimes when you meet someone it feels right from the beginning. She has a very engaging personality and we have a natural way of being together. I’m a lucky guy.”

Listen, Justin.  I don’t give a rat’s ass about you and Jess and your special way, okay?  All I know is that I do not appreciate you trying to fuck with my prediction success rate and I want this fuckery to cease immediately.

Le sigh.  Is it time for me to hang up my hoop earrings and crystal ball?  Hells, no.

17 CommentsLeave a comment

  • don’t you storage that magic 8-ball yet, wendie!

    suuuuureeeee, everything’s peachy-keen now…

    but isn’t it the kiss-of-death when the ‘guy’ starts waxin’ poetic about how GRRREAT everything is…hmmm?

    that, and when someone get a tat of the other’s name!


    let’s just sit back & be patient on this one.

    just you wait.

    *devil horns*

    • “Fuckery” is MK’s from D-listed who stole it from a stand up comedian that comments on his site.

      Also most of these stories are copied straight from celebitchy, even the phrase “the aptly named Hurt”.

      Lainey copies her stuff from Ted Casablahblahblahblah on E! and her site is mosly who she believes the blind items are for, but she just calls it “news”.

      Socialtes Life is not even written by a socialite

      Just Jared is for retards who foam at the mouth for Jolie. We call it Just Jolie.
      Mouth breathers who worship celebrities sit over there for days on end like hogs in stank ass shit.

    • Uhm le sigh is a phrase that’s been around for AGES. It comes from the cartoon Pepe Le Pew…. It’s NOT Lainey’s (the shitty writer whose ass you seem to be up), it’s Warner Bros. Somehow I believe a cartoon that’s been around since 1945 didn’t steal their material from Lainey. Now please go back to your tunnel of feces…

  • yes it is a real magazine. it always amuses me how much americans think nothing exists outside america. ignorance is bliss i guess

    • Indeed. Hello is the best selling celebrity magazine in Europe, with issues in Great Britain (Hello), France (Oh La La) and Spain (Hola). I’m so with you on this one, Laura.

      • So Wendie doesnt read Ok magazine on the regualr and by all counts SHOULD have known this was a major avenue for gossip because she is a gossip blogger and MANY of the stories she has printed ave been originaly sourced to OK magazine tranlsates to ALL AMERICANS being as clueless as her?

        FFS! You children are lacking in major areas.

  • Wendie, can you still write a funny post if you don’t use the f-word at least 2-3 times in it? Try. Your overuse of it gets really tiresome.

  • Can you guys chill a little on Wendie? Damn, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Also, this is an American website, so lets chill a little on the American bashing as well. If you have to do it, then stay on websites run by your nation, because this really isn’t the place for it.

    • I wasn’t ‘america bashing’ actually. It’s a well known fact that america is a little self-absorbed. It’s a huge country you don’t need anything outside of it. It was a harmless comment I don’t feel the need to apologise for

  • She has “an engaging personailty”???? What’s next? She has a heart of gold and I wish her the best!

  • wendie i fucking love what you write i think you are fucking clever and fucking funny, even if you are wrong about JT and jess. for now.