Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Vince Shlomi Slap-Chops the Spanish Language

Beating up hookers just isn’t enough for Sham-wow and Slap-chop promoter Vince Shlomi. In his free time, he also abuses languages. Here, he butchers Spanish in a horrific attempt to sell more Sham-wows.

I used to chuckle every time I thought about the Sham-wow guy beating up a hooker… until I saw these pictures. (Warning: they’re a little disturbing.)

The blood and the swelling make it too real and disgusting. As funny as it seemed at the time, I don’t think I’ll be able to laugh about that again. Now, it just makes me feel sad for humanity.

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  • So it’s okay for this guy to beat the living shit out of this woman because she’s a “hooker”? That makes her less than? She’s asking for it, right? How as a woman, do you find this funny, Kelly? This is horrifing. I wonder what Sasha thinks of a blogger of hers making fun of a victim of assault. Disgusting.

    • From what I’ve read, it sounds like Vince was acting in self defense. She bit his tongue and wouldn’t let go so he panicked and tried to get her off.

      I don’t believe in this whole man-shouldn’t-beat-woman thing. I believe that no one should beat anybody with self defense being the only exception.

      • It could certainly be what self defense looks like. He’s got a whole lot of blood on his face which probably came from his tongue. The bitch bit him and he slapped her silly. At best, it’s self defense; at worst, mutual combat. Certainly not “abuse of hooker”.

    • Yeah, not sure I’m on board with the weekend “sexual assault as running gag” that’s emerging. And I’m saying that about my favorite purveyor of sleazy celeb gossip, so you know I’m not the oversensitive type.

    • No, it was okay for Shlomi to punch a hooker that assaulted him because it was self-defense. They both assaulted each other- she wasn’t a victim, she was a criminal.
      As I said in the post, it was funny until I saw the pictures– because it was two people acting like assholes, doing things they shouldn’t have been doing, who got caught because they beat each other up.

      I can’t laugh at it now because those pictures make it just… pathetic and sad. But you shouldn’t forget that both of these people suck. Just because she’s the woman, it doesn’t mean that she’s free from culpability. And I don’t think I made fun of either person’s injuries. If you’d actually read the post, you’d know that I only commented on how disturbing the photos are, and that I don’t think it’s funny, having seen them.

      But I will add “hooker-hating assault supporter” to the list of accusations lobbed at me– right next to “religion-mocking homophobe”.

      • I agree.

        The story sounds kind of funny…. Shamwow guy hits a hooker who was biting his tongue?? It’s so so absurd!!! But when you see the pics, you’re more like…. ugh holy shit. All that blood. It wasn’t just a little scuffle.

        And nonnie, from all reports, it was in self-defense. I don’t believe in hitting anyone, but if someone was furiously holding my tongue with their teeth, I would do anything to get them off of me. Had it just been him beating up a hooker for no reason, of course it would have been worse. And I’m sure he would have been charged then.

      • Because mindless snark is so much more attractive than reflection. Beet, you found one with excellent grammar, can you just try to pick someone who’s not a shitty human being next time?

        Wendie, I love you.

      • Wow, okay. I don’t agree with lots of people, and I call lots of people stupid and ignorant and such. But calling someone a shitty human being based on your own overreactions to a sarcastic sense of humor is ridiculous. Get over yourself jackass.

      • Laughing at a woman getting beaten up – even if she’s JUST A HOOKER – is never ok. If you don’t know why, you’re a shitty human being. If you don’t know how to try being funny without piling on, get a new job. What’s next, tard jokes about Trig Palin? There are limits.

  • If I pay good money for sex only to have the hooker bite down on my tongue and not let go, you had better bet someone is going to get his or her hooker ass kicked. What else was he supposed to do? What would you do if you had some crazed hooker clamped on your tongue? And don’t you dare answer “orgasm,” ya pervs.

    I just want to know if anything prompted her to bite down. Maybe he did a no-no, you know, violating the hooker code? I dunno. I’ve watched all those HBO documentaries on hookers and they all say the dude is NOT allowed to kiss them. But….she must have let him start to kiss her if she was able to get in there and get his tongue with her teeth.

    I suppose the world will never know what really happened that night. Not everyone who gets beat up is a victim. Not everyone who gets bitten is, either. Someone needs to find that hooker and get a videotaped interview. In fact, who wants to work with me and produce a mini documentary on this incident….

    • Um, have you seen the photos? I think there are other ways to get someone off you than to beat them until their eyeballs are bloody. There is no excuse for this. There is self-defense and then there is trying to kill someone. Did you think that maybe she bit him because he was assaulting her? “Hookers” have rights. They are women, they do not ask to be beaten or raped. That’s not they are paid for.

      • I don’t know about you, but if someone is biting on my tongue and not letting go, the first thing I’m doing is flailing about frantically hitting everything in sight.

        We don’t know if she assaulted him. We don’t know the whole story. All we know is that some woman bit some guy’s tongue and the guy tried to get her off of him. Both have injuries. That’s it. I don’t think this is a black and white man beats woman because he’s superior case here.

        The story you’re trying to tell is that SHE was acting in self-defense. Well then, if that’s the case… then she was trying to kill him. How is that okay? Biting someone’s tongue off will kill them. There was an awful lot of dried blood around his mouth.

        I don’t care whether the victim was a man or woman. A victim’s a victim.

      • Not everyone who has an opinion and wants to prove their point needs to change a tampon. Your joke is getting old (I’m pretty sure it was you who wrote that same comment to me a couple days ago).

      • “Did you think that maybe she bit him because he was assaulting her?”

        So you’re suggesting that she bit his TONGUE because he was assaulting her? Yeah, that’s what I do when I’m being assaulted. Reach into my attackers mouth and pull out his tongue so I can bite it.

  • OMG, they couldn’t have hired an actual Spanish speak to do a voice over? This is a travesty.

    • Even being a fluent spanish speaker, it sounds like those japanese game shows. On top of that, the ad is translated word for word, so much so that some phrases don’t translate well and aren’t readily understandable. It sounds pretty funny if you’re bilingual

    • OMG, I laughed watching this clip. I’m 100% spanish and I hardly understood what he said. If they chose those spanish speaking women to tell wonderful things about that crap, why didn’t do the same for a voice over? Don’t know… Maybe they run out of money, because nobody buys that thing… I’m only guessing… LOL

  • Sorry, but I was really underwhelmed by the graphic nature of the photos. I’m pretty sure I bled that much when I hit my head on the aquarium. Head wounds bleed a lot and they swell up pretty dramatically. It might look like more than what it actually is, and since neither is being charged, that seems rather likely.

    As for the running gag… the gag isn’t the violence, the gag is that the h*cking Sham-WOW dude is actually a celebrity.

  • I always figured she bit him b/c he tried to kiss her on the mouth – according to every sex worker HBO special I’ve ever seen hookers don’t kiss on the lips.

    And they def haven’t pulled the commercial – I saw it on TV last night.

    • Did the HBO special say why hookers don’t kiss on the mouth? I’ve always wondered about that.

      • Hookers don’t kiss on the mouth because it makes it too personal. For them, selling sex is nothing more than a business transaction.

    • Soleil is black?!? Wow.. You’re lookin’ good tho.. Anyway, yea. He tried to force-kiss her so she bit him when he tried to snake his tounge down her throat. Mind you, this was AFTER the sex (you’ll notice two used condums on the bed in the pictures) so my only question to all of this is.. is that the best $1000 can get you in terms of hookers?

  • whaaaaaaat!

    Does anybody own one of these? I call bullshit on it being able to get the liquid out of that carpet. As.Fucking.If!

  • Well i thought the discussion was gonna be about this dude speaking horribe spanish.. So here’s what i think, first of all, is this being aired in Mexico??? because, 19.95 mexican pesos would be 2 bucks here LOL and since i’ve seen this at the store, and they want 20 bucks for it, i think they’re pretty fucking stupid.. lol..
    And also, he cannot speak spanish! why didn’t they just hire someone else to do the comercial in spanish? i mean, not that it’s not funny, but it’s just not good enough i think..
    And by the way, no wonder he has to pay for sex.. Dude is fucking ugly!!!