Today's Evil Beet Gossip

La Lohan Emerges

Now that there’s no warrant for her arrest pending, Lindsay Lohan apparently felt it safe to slip out of Sam Ronson’s house — where she’s been hiding since Saturday — and head out to her DUI class in Glendale. But, man, she’d almost be safer in jail than with those hordes of paparazzi. This is total insanity.

“You would think it was President Obama in there,” said an onlooker. “The security guards were decked out in black suits, earpieces, sunglasses. They looked like secret service.”

Lindsay’s attending her DUI classes at a place called Right On Programs, whose website is totally awesome (JK, JK — Lindsay Lohan could have done a better job of programming that shit while in a drunken blackout). They offer an “alternative” to 12-step programs and claim that the “positive non-judgemental approach of the meetings does not label anyone as ‘alcoholic’ or ‘addict’ but rather promotes the concept that life works better for anyone without alcohol or other drugs.” Yeah, that’s exactly what Lindsay Lohan needs: More people telling her ass that she’s not an addict. This’ll end well.

12 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I just hope this episode is some sort of wake-up call for her. Lindsay can’t keep partying like she’s been doing lately. She can’t handle it.

  • See what I mean. Beet can barely write anything besides fucking Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears. and Rihanna/Chris Brown stories anymore. When I see a Lindsay Lohan story on here, I pretty much KNOW Beet wrote it herself because her other two writers actually focus on other celebrities.
    I could see writing about Lohan if she were interesting, talented or even attractive but unfortunately she possesses none of those qualities. She’s simply a boring self-absorbed washed up former actress.

      • Perhap u can tell us what is so interesting about this whore, Lis?

        maybe you can tell us why isnt responsible for making half of the American teens from whoring themself.. u shoul d ask the teen girls or maybe just ask them which is better

        fucking random guyz around the world, DUI arrest, or licking lemons

      • Yea Klipper leave me and Lohan alone..

        I am not boring, i enjoy licking lemons, getting random shacks, upskirt with no panties..sometime a bottle or beer or dildo and thats not all.

        you just havent seen the exciting part of me.

  • Just turn the page and move on, even the warrant story was blown way out of proportion write something else besides Lindsay’s stories.

  • dang. Isn’t the first step usually admitting you have a problem? that program sounds like an ineffectual joke.

  • “AA/NA etc. GET A LIFE!
    medical model natures design
    disease wellness
    powerless self-empowering
    alcoholic (label) person (no label)
    sobriety alcohol/drug-free
    anonymous pro-active
    separate fellowship social integration
    higher power spirtitual experience
    different same
    support support
    meetings lifestyle
    denial discovery
    exclusive inclusive
    12-steps Balanced Living”

    that was from their website. Why are they treating this like a big Pepsi-vs.-Coke debate or something? Ugh. So lame.