Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Russell Brand is My Hero (for the Day)


Underneath all his swarthy, unwashed pirate swag Russell Brand is an intelligent, intuitive, incorrigible human being and for that I love him.

You see, Russell saw this supposed ‘autobiography’ put out by Miley Cyrus and he’s simply not having it.

 “Miley Cyrus?” the 33-year-old star said when he was informed about her tome. “She’s only been alive half an hour. What’s she going to say: ‘The womb was warm?'”

“It’s nice in there. There’s all sorts of fluids,” he continued criticizing Miley’s tome. “That’s not a book. I don’t buy it. It’s a very short story. Anything that’s been written by a sperm and an ovum–it’s too short.”

Now, Russell may be feeling extra critical towards other autobiographies because he’s in the process of putting together his own. But his autobiography talks about things like ‘how his father introduced him to prostitutes on a trip to Asia’ and ‘how he once got into a naked, drug-fueled brawl with a stripper’.  THOSE are the kinds of stories you need for a book about your life.

Who wants to read about bullies and sandwiches when you can have stripper fights and Asian hookers?

30 CommentsLeave a comment

    • Russel Brand has been interviewed by many people, and has left a good impression, and he is intelligent, he’s not in the business to entertain people that think he is annoying. What’s your idea of funny, poking somebody in the eye with a fork? or sticking a match between they’re toes? If your going to say he’s annoying, that at least say why you think so! if your going to do this your a child!

  • He’s so right. And I will sooo be buying his book, even though I’m severely allergic to books written by/about celebrities.

  • Actually, Soleil, he’s not working on an autobiography, he released it this week… it’s called “My Booky Wook.” Just fyi…

    • The book came out in the UK in 2007 I think and was really popular. He’s on a U.S. book tour now. I would never want to read a celebrity memoir but this one actually sounds pretty good.

  • “Who wants to read about bullies and sandwiches”
    Other teenage girls! This book is not for adults!
    My friend just moved to the next town over & her 14 yr old freshman daughter is having an awful time adjusting. This is a perfect book for her. And she can’t wait to read it.

    • “‘I clutched my grilled cheese sandwich like it was the hand of my best friend. It pretty much was my best friend those days. I was done for.”

      Miley’s book is shit. Her ghostwriter should be ashamed.

  • What a hilarious criticism. Love it. :D

    And he’s right. ‘Half an hour’ of life does not give enough substance for a decent biography, I’m sure. Although, considering that she got famous so young, there’s probably more substance than the average girl her age. Probably something interesting there for other girls her age, as Mimi in mo above me commented.

  • I absolutely ADORE me some Russell Brand. He’s fucking awesome. His stand-up that was on last weekend was beyond hilarious… his bit about Britney Spears’ and the elephant’s vagina was insane.

    • Agree, I love him and that comedy special was hilarious.

      Also, the misuse of quotations in this blog post is making me squeamish.

  • brands booky wook is great, it was given to me for my birthday last year and while i usually hate celeb books, his was fantastic and i have reread it again and again. it does talk about alot of bad experiances but its also sooo funny and doesnt sound self pitying at all, which i think a few celeb books do. love it, and him. :)

  • jesus, ever think mileys fans may want to read her book..
    obviously an adult wouldnt..christ almighty people

  • Celeb books are always, in general, going to suck.
    The only ones I have heard that are any good are the ones by musicians which you know are going to involve sex, drugs and troubled childhoods.
    Everyone likes reading about other peoples misery.

    • No, your assuming that people like to read about other peoples miseries because there reading about yours. Cheer the F**K -up

  • Please just to inform you Russell is not ‘unwashed’ he bathes and showers regularly and smells of vanilla and spice

      • a true lady doesn’t kiss and tell…
        but he is always clean..even when he is dirty
        and sweaty it is clean

        just take it from me
        did you all hear the NPR interview? was the best of the New York interviews.
        and Howard Stern…needs to get more research done before interviewing people he actualy said he’s mum is dead.
        I know I never really liked Howard’s style but now I’m done.
        The NPR interview was flowing , comfy and informative for the audience.

      • If all that you watch is serious interviews, and commentary, then your missing out, oh, please do not take Russel Brand or Howard Stern seriously, they are not real interviewers, they know it and they don’t want to be they are there for laughs that’s it. Howard Stern makes a crank call to Howard Stern, (funny) Howard Stern Hugs for Harlem (funny) Russell Brand, is a long list also but they are both great.

  • actually his book has been out for a few year now, recently released here in the states this week

  • Brand was on NPR this morning with Scott Simon and he was really intelligent and charming–there is more to him than meets the eye!

  • This from a man who published his own memoirs at age 22? It’s irrelevant how good either book is; his criticism was based solely on the age of the subject, and I think he’s in somewhat hypocritical standing there.

  • I don’t know what it is about this guy but whenever he’s on the screen I’m memorized. After seeing him on “Chelsea Lately” I decided to buy his book.

  • Yeah, all the little girls should definitely buy Miley’s autobiography so that they can grow up to be just like her making the world a better place!

    She is The positive role model after all!

  • Russell Brand’s book “My booky wook” does credit to him name. He has led a life much fuller than the ordinary person.

  • Miley Cyrus know that her life is going to go downhill after she hits 18, which is why she wrote the autobiography now as opposed to later on.

    Seriously? Why the hell would you write an autobiography when you haven’t hit adulthood? Oh boohoo Miley didn’t have any friends. Yeah, right. Maybe even back then she was a conceited little bitch.

    Russell Brand is amazing, and his book is great!