Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Elle Style Awards 2009

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Dudes, that’s Courtney “Thank Christ This Wall Is Here” Love last night at the ELLE Style Awards.  What the hell happened to her?  Oh, wait, I know the answer to that.  Diet and exercise and most certainly not gastric bypass.  I’m addicted to all those TLC shows like Half Ton Mom, Half Ton Teen, Half Ton Dad and have lost entire weekends to their obesity clinic marathons.  One thing that all the bypass patients seem to experience is flabby excess skin from rapid post-surgery weight loss-kind of like Courtney has on her sides and back.  Except Love’s is due to diet and exercise-not, uh, surgery.  Nope, that shit is the result of macrobiotic living.

The rest of the night went something like this:  Anna Friel was there in a dress emblazoned with the word “NO”.  Anna, please start listening to your wardrobe; It is wise.  Mickey Rourke got all Lindsayish and started swigging clear liquid out of an Evian bottle, Pixie Geldof had severe panty lines.  Thandie Newton concluded that she was better than everyone there and Frieda Pinto wore shoulder condoms.

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