Today's Evil Beet Gossip

How Pissed Off Do You Think Sheryl Crow Is?


Lance Armstrong is going to be a dad again.  He and Anna Hansen, his girlfriend of five months are reportedly expecting.

Lance had his swimmers frozen after his 1996 diagnosis of testicular cancer.  His three children, Luke, Isabelle and Grace were conceived through in-vitro fertilization.    But this kiddo has come about the old-fashioned way.  Usually, testicular cancer treatment kills sperm.  They aren’t supposed to survive like some sort of nuclear fallout cockroaches.

When Lance and Sheryl Crow broke up a couple of years ago, it was because they were in different places in their lives.  After the split, she went on to adopt a baby boy which is awesome.   But now Lance is going to have a child with this new girlfriend.  It reminds me of my first true love.  We were together for over five years and I wanted to marry him.  And he just wasn’t ready.  I respect honesty and I’m pretty egotistical so I couldn’t be with a guy who didn’t really, really want to marry me.  So I left.  I Googled him not too many years later to find out he was, of course, married.  So it wasn’t that he didn’t want to be married; he just didn’t want to be married to me.  Which sucked.   In Sheryl’s case, hopefully she sees that this wasn’t about a conscious choice to have kids as much as it was about some damn, fucking resilient, stealth super-sperm.

Congrats to the couple.  Sometimes the best things come from the unexpected.

43 CommentsLeave a comment

  • blah. I’m sure she doesn’t care that much. She has her little one now.

    I’m sure it would be different if she had wanted kids before (who knows?) and now he had another and she had none.

    I mean, we could just ask Aniston how that feels

  • Aw, Wendie.

    Last week my first love left a voicemail to tell me he’s engaged, and it’s kind of put me in a really weird frame of mind. I really get what you’re spinnin’. It isn’t that you still want to be married to the guy, it’s just, like, well, shit.

  • I dont think cheryl crow really cares she has probably moved on with her life.
    However,I think you did the right thing in dumping that guy. That whole “Im just not ready” thing is crap (unless you have been dating for only a few months lol) especially if you have been together for years. Either it works or it doesnt, and thats just the bottom line. People need to quit fooling themselves and not settle for anything less than what they deserve. Just because you didnt want to be with a man who couldnt make a commitment to you after 5 years of dating does not make you “egotistical”….in fact it makes you a hell of a lot more patient than me, and 98% of the people I know.

  • Wendie, wendie. Just because you didn’t push him into marriage doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t and didn’t. Guys are pushovers.

  • Is she pregnant by invitro, cuz, didn’t he lose a testical and had to freeze his little fellers. Me thinks this sounds like a this girl I knew in hs who got pregnant by her OLD bf and told her then current one it was his. Tsk, tsk. Sounds a lil too convenient. Super sperm indeed. Those things are dumb, swim one direction, some with no heads, dumb, I say. Is this guys one remaining nuclear wasted ball really springing out farm fresh, organic, vegan baby makers??? Really???

    • I totally agree with you suthunbelle. Every man bone in me is SCREAMING bullshit on this one. If I am Lance, I am jacking off into a cup and making someone in the medical profession show me visible proof of live swimmers. Then I am going home to ask my darling girlfriend of 5 months exactly how the fuck she is pregnant.

  • My ex and I broke up because we had been engaged for YEARS; he never wanted to actually get married. When we did finally break up, within 6 months he had married someone else.

    It’s cool though, his mother was psycho, so now I don’t have to deal with her.

  • The book “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Berhendt said the same thing. If a guy tells you he’s not ready to get married its just that he doesn’t want to get married to you. Trust me I know this from experience.

    And yes Miss Beet, it sucks ass.

  • i don’t care what we are told who this guy is, he seems like a scumbag. enjoy another kid you won’t give 10% of your effort to as a horrible excuse for a father. but maybe i’m wrong. guess that shrivelled nut did the job.


    Next time you want to base (and link to) multiple posts of Perez’s site, dont bother adding any commentary. You might as well put his link in the body, and simply say “Read this blog instead today”.



      The next time you want to post a comment, make sure you know what the f*ck you are talking about. Merry Christmas!

      • How do i not know what im talking about? Please explain.

        She went to Perez’s site and then rewrote what he siad and linked us too it. Her research for this post and the previous one was Perez’s site.

        So Indigo maybe you should know what the f*ck youre talking about.

  • i just gotta say, these comments are great. and this is a typical story. guy gets all set up and prepared for years by some other girl. then when it’s over, he’s finally ready to commit with someone else. i remember my mother’s friends talking about this when i was a kid, and we women are still discussing it today. it’s just the human mature of men.

      • wow you sound bitter. don’t make such blanket statements about the other gender. sometimes men leave for someone prettier, sometimes women leave for more money. or they leave for other things. many don’t leave at all and stick it out because they love the one they’re with. men do this, blah blah blah. we could say the same thing about women. but then we would sound as ignorant and ignore all the amazing women out there.

        every indication is that this guy is an asshole. don’t lump us all in with him just because the angry and bitter women your mom allowed in your house told you we were all like this.

  • Some people don’t realize it, but inappropriate procreation is the biggest, most ASSHOLEY thing someone can do.

  • I sit here and listen once again to your beautiful 1993 “Cafe”….
    the best you ever did. April 16 2002 realese was also classic. What was this thing with the pompous ass Lance Armstrong anyway???
    Admire the cancer topic…I’ve been there. You two sure don’t match up too well. Sheryl…What were you thinking? And “Kid Rock” ??? Talk about reality suspended !!! Are you “kidding”?—I could make up a “cool” name also if I had sucessful marketing behind me…..anyone could—right time, right place. What a neat idea he had lately though! Rather than just steal other people’s songs totally–” Let’s just steal
    PIECES of other songs and put them together.” Kid Rock ?? What???
    “Let’s just steal PIECES of other songs, put them together and convince the public that it’s worth buying

  • You know Beet, we’re kinda in the same boat. After googling my ex, I found out he was married too… he just didn’t wanna marry me. Someday, some pretty day… the right man better come along!

  • Lance’s first wife stayed by his side through cancer, and that was hard I’m sure. She loved him. Then he gets a miracle which is all you can call what happened. She says she is a christian and that’s great. We are not sure what he is, maybe an atheist. I would be very afraid to keep living a sinful life after God was so good to heal me. Be sure
    your sins will find you out! GOD will not be mocked!