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44Rough Life

Jordin Sparks

I spent Sunday sledding on a freeway exit and searching for a cell phone in two feet of snow with a metal detector, but Jordin Sparks? Arrived in Perth, Australia, where the sun shines as brightly as her virginity.

Personally, I’d rather be covered in snow and, on occasion, semen.

December 22, 2008 at 12:17 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jordin Sparks

44 Responses to “Rough Life”

  1. Snowblood says:

    So, who exactly is this young woman? Is she an actress or a singer? She’s kinda chubby, isn’t she, for being in the entertainment business anyway. Pretty face and nice warm smile, but super-svelte, heavy on the svelte. Eh, so what, I suppose. If she’s a singer, the extra weight can enrich and strengthen the singing voice, so there’s that, which is a plus. (O.K., how many more puns can I slip in here? lol)

  2. Liberty says:

    Ewwwww Beeeeettt LMAO

    I like her. :)

  3. Brynja says:

    Gotta love the white stuff

  4. mcbiscuit says:

    You’d rather be covered in snow and semen than what? Be a virgin or be in Perth? I only ask because Perth is great, I’ve no idea what being a virgin is like but Perth is awesome, much better than snow or jizz.

    • Snowblood says:

      Lol! @ “I’ve no idea what being a virin is like but…” That was hilarious!

    • Evil Beet says:

      Not a dig on Perth. Dig on Jordin’s viriginity pledges, and what a bitch she is about anyone who’s not waiting for marriage.

      • gNorah says:

        ouch, Beet. Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re funny and a damn good celebrity gossip blogger, but what’s up with your thing against Jordin and all other people who are waiting till they’re married? I mean I totally get how stupid it was for her to say that, I guess she was pretty pissed that someone had made some stupid ass remark about her sexual decisions, just like I’m guessing you and many other people were because of the same reason! But honestly, sometimes the whole Jordin bashing can be slightly offensive to those who share her beliefs on sex. Contrary to popular belief, people who are saving themselves for marriage ( well most of us anyways, because I’ve never met anyone like this) aren’t a bunch of self-righteous, religious prudes who think they’re better than everybody else because they’re simply waiting to bone until they’ve found someone they’re in love with and will (hopefully, damn you, divorce!) spend the rest of their lives with. We just aren’t too crazy about something casual like a one night stand or something. People who are waiting have sex drives too! And trust me, it’s pretty damn hard to restrain yourself! But hell, at least I know I’m not one to judge or call anyone else “sluts”!

      • me says:

        I’d like to cover you in semen Beet

  5. courteney says:

    I think she looks great, it’s very rare to see a successful girl who isn’t 99 pounds.. Jordin Sparks has an amazing voice and it’s because of posts like the first one that the music industry keeps creating barbie dolls with no talent.

    • redshoes says:

      Yeah!!!! It’s so great to see someone who will have diabetes in 5 years like “normal Americans!”

      man, being fat is so cool

  6. NA says:

    I don’t know who Jordin Sparks is but Perth is awesome– nothing beats spending christmas at the beach!

  7. TSS says:

    So basically you want Frosty D. Snowman to bust a nut on your ass !?!

    And “on occasion”???… What fucked up occasion does that shit happen?

    Hmmm…..Must be a Jewish thing.

    Jizzel tov

  8. Kelsee says:

    Is it just me, or does it look like she has a backpack on? It took me a second look to realize whether or not that was a backpack, or a humpback. Stand up, Jordin!

  9. yeah says:

    Beet, you’ve been topped…er, well maybe bottomed..whatevs.

    Jizzel Tov, indeed!

    But, really, just ewww!

  10. Amy says:

    No wonder why she’s still a virgin…I think she likes to believe it’s because she chooses it. I think it’s because no one wants to tap that.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Amy, that’s just sick and mean. It’s not like being a virgin and waiting till your wedding night is a bad thing! God sometimes I just think you people are just jealous and bitter that you have no self control and couldn’t wait yourselves. Get a life and stop hating on Jordan. Good for her!

  12. yum says:

    She could stand to lose a couple, but tap-able none the less. She kinda looks like the little girl from the cosby show(not rudy).

  13. jennatar says:

    I just landed in Hawaii where it is two hours earlier than San Francisco, and sunshiney.

  14. coach says:

    beet, sometimes i think you may be the woman of my dreams.

  15. taylor says:

    she IS wearing a backpack. you can see the straps.

  16. Buggg. says:

    What’s so wrong with being a virgin and waiting until your married?
    Not everyone wants to throw themselves around.
    At some point you have to have self respect.

    Everyone has their own opinion and choose.
    And you shouldn’t make fun of her for the one she made.

    • yeayea says:

      Just because you dont wait for marriage doesnt mean that you throw yourself around and it definitely does not always mean you dont have respect for yourself.

    • redshoes says:

      Us non-virgins kind of can hate her because she made the comment that equated all non-virgins to SLUTS

      so I am not a fan. She shakes her finger at our decision to not wait, and we make fun of her decision to wait.

      Have fun not having sex Jordin!!!! You should reconsider. It’s great exercise.

      Can you girls imagine marrying the first guy you slept with??? how AWFUL. she had better pray that her first husband knows how to do it. not like she would know. I am sure prudes are killer in the sack

    • redshoes says:

      Us non-virgins kind of can hate her because she made the comment that equated all non-virgins to SLUTS

      so I am not a fan. She shakes her finger at our decision to not wait, and we make fun of her decision to wait.

      Have fun not having sex Jordin!!!! You should reconsider. It’s great exercise.

      Can you girls imagine marrying the first guy you slept with??? how AWFUL. she had better pray that her first husband knows how to do it. not like she would know. I am sure prudes are killer in the sack

  17. yeah says:

    I respect it if those practicing it don’t look down their collective nose at those who are not harming them in the least by enjoying a little sumpthin’ sumpthin’.

    And those having a sexual relationship before marriage aren’t necessarily “throwing” themselves around; they may only have one or even two partners before marriage and that hardly makes them sluts.

    I get her youth fueled exuberance but casting stones gets you nothing but a trebuchet full of mountains cast your way.

  18. slouchy says:

    Not svelte, but zaftig.

  19. princess pink says:

    “Personally, I’d rather be covered in snow and, on occasion, semen. ”

    lol beet! your writing brightens my day. especially on a day like today when it’s cloudy and 12 degrees outside.

  20. Lou says:

    some people actually do enjoy a healthy sexual appetite without it meaning that they are sluts devoid of “self-respect” looking desperately for love via their bed habits…

  21. coolgal says:

    some advice jorden, lose some weight

  22. Tracy says:

    I LOVE Jordin. I think she’s gorgeous regardless of whatever she weighs.

  23. meh says:

    I express appreciation for the Dave Matthews Band

  24. dude says:

    She’s hot. I’d like to bang her.

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