Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Duggars Make It 20


Congrats to Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, who just had their eighteenth child, Jordyn-Grace. She was born Thursday via C-section, weeks before her due date of Jan. 1. She weighed in at 7 lbs, 3 oz and was 20 inches long. Mother and baby are doing well.

And, hey, did you guys know their oldest son got hitched earlier this year? Well he did.

Florida native Anna Keller married 20-year-old Josh Duggar, the eldest sibling of the family, on Friday, becoming the twentieth person in the clan, reports The Florida Times-Union in Jacksonville.

The two met at a home-schoolers’ conference in 2006. Duggar said it was love at first sight and he spent the next two years courting Keller. “Dating means you’re shopping around,” he told the paper. “A courtship is the path toward marriage.”

They have kept in touch by phone ever since, including some visits – chaperoned, of course.

“We wanted proof that, yes, we did exactly what we said we would,” Duggar said. “We want to encourage other young people to wait for the right timing.”

Dude. Here I’ve spent my entire adult life looking for marriageable men in bars and nightclubs, when all this time they were at home-schoolers’ conferences. I am making some serious changes to my social routine. I am also going to make sure that men court me rather than date me. Like, the next time a cute guy asks me out to coffee I’m going to be like “Would you consider this a date?” and if he says “Yes” I will be like, “Sorry, I don’t date, I only allow myself to be courted. Please try again when you’re ready to treat me like Josh Duggar would.”

Seriously, though, do you know how I know my love life is really pathetic? I’ll tell you: See, my mother, like, practically invented feminism. She was, like, in the streets taking a Bic to her bra back when that shit was in. She’s always very much like “You don’t need a man, you’re fantastic on your own, just focus on you and leave the rest up to God, you’ll have a man in your life when it’s time, there’s plenty for you to do until then, etc, etc.” And so she calls me today and we’re talking, and I’m telling her how upsetting it is that it’s this snow day and I can’t even really leave the house and it would be so romantic to have someone here to cuddle with and make snowmen with and it’s just depressing to be stuck here all alone and then I braced myself for a barrage of feminist pick-me-ups, and a reprimand for even implying that I might need a man to be happy, and instead she was like, “Aw, sweetie. I’m so sorry. When you’re in town next week we’re going to work on your man situation. We’ll work on it together.” So, ya know, woah. I must be getting pretty tragic if even my mother thinks we need to take action.

Is there any other male Duggar over the age of 18? I’m totally a virgin at heart.

71 CommentsLeave a comment

  • you realize they have their own show now right? they fully go over the courtship, they wouldn’t even go to dinner without someone watching them.

    in duggar baby news, i got the best picture of their family with this slogan: ‘vaginas, they’re not clown cars.’

    the end.

  • i wonder what the Duggar holidays are like. like are they so religious they’re past the santa stuff? i hope they are because i can’t imagine figuring out gifts for 18 children.
    LOVE HINT FOR BEET: wear some Duggar-dresses

    • Magpie is the coolest blogging screenname I’ve come across in ages! Just had to say that, love your name, Magpie!

    • The Duggars are beyond even normal homeschooled crazy: Has anyone here even seen their show? Holy fuck it makes me want to stab my eyes out. Watching their brainwashed kids thinking that getting married at 17 just so they could finally kiss is nauseating beyond belief.

    • you are so right. i was homeschooled, and yeah there are some nice homeschooled guys out there but would i want to marry them? fuck no lol.

      i’m the girl your mother warns you about. ;D

  • Every family should do this…have as many children as possible, that is. It’s really great for the environment, btw.

  • i don’t know what’s funnier–this blog entry and its comments, or like, i dunno, HAVING 18 FUCKING KIDS.

    these people are fuckin’ ate up with it, man. jesus.

  • Omg. The blog was hilarious, the comments were hilarious. I laughed my ass off when I read: TSS, Norman, and FoxyRoxy.

    omg so funny.

    honestly for me, even having ONE freaking kid is like wow……EIGHTFUCKINGTEEN??????????


  • all i keep thinking is that her vajayjay has got to be TI-YERD! fer reals. holy shit.

    bitch bettah do some kegels…else it’s gonna be like stewie griffin says–”throwin’ a hot dog down a hallway.”

  • I saw the episode where their son became engaged. The two didn’t even kiss…just hugged.

    Apparently, he was saving his first kiss for their wedding day….seriously.

    So, which Duggar child do you see rebelling first?

    • I actually know several homeschooled families who do this lol. its sad…i see nothing wrong with kissing and the whole dating while your parent is sitting next you you making sure your knees aren’t touching is really really f-d up.

  • beet, marry my cousin! he’s the same age as you, and he wants to start a family now. :D then i’ll have you for the rest of my life to make me happy.



  • HOW has her uterus not exploded by now?!
    Dude her vajayjay must be so big, you can probably see it from space.

  • I would also like to add that given the number of kids they have.. you would think that at least one of them would be cute.
    But no, you would be thinking wrong.

  • this family scares me so goddamn much. yes, I think we should all have 18 kids. that way we could be certain to take down the world in a matter of like 30 years.

    overpopulation sucks. sometimes I don’t think China is that crazy….. SOMETIMES…..

    there should be a kid limit. seriously.

    don’t they not let the girls cut their hair? and make them wear dresses all the time? Thank god I am not a Duggar. I barely liked having ONE sibling…

    • yeah, have 2 siblings and our limit is about 1 day visit for every 3 months.

      they are not allowed to cut their hair for some random reason that was stupid enough for me to block out, but they can’t ever wear pants because of their religion, dresses and long skirts only lest you confuse one as equal to a man.

  • They must not use protection. Probably think it’s against “God’s Will” or something.

    What if each of these kids has eighteen of their own? I mean… ew. Too many Duggars!

    • Well by witnessing their eldest sons behavior, I have no doubts he’ll turn his wife into a babybearing maniac.

      I’d lol if he tried to beat his dads record.

    • watched a special on them once, they were using birthcontrol pills, but she didnt know she was already pregnant and when they found out it was cause everything went to shit and she miscarried which made them decide that they were violating the bible and they would now have as many kids as their god saw fit to give them.

  • it’s child abuse because unless he’s bill gates, he can’t afford to give all these kids the life they should have, hope they can all get scholarships to college.

    and the kids are going to raise each other; not enough mom and dad attention to all of their lives to go around. i can’t imagine how much these kids are going to act out later in life after trying to act perfect after being ignored for their childhood.

    and i’m guessing this woman needs surgery down there at this point

  • She Bears a Village:

    Liv Says “They must not use protection.” Ya THINK???

    Clearly, it is not natural, physically, for a woman to give birth to so many children. Nor, do I believe, it is healthy. And despite whatever this couple may say to the contrary, it cannot be healthy for the children to be one among a litter. These people are very, very extreme and disturbing.

    • Contraception is not a natural thing, so yes it is natural for a woman to have as many children as possible. Usually a large percentage of them [the children] wouldn’t survive into adulthood so having so many increased the chances of passing on [good] genes to the next generation. It is because we are not used to seeing large families that we generally feel such behaviour is abnormal when is just deviant in today’s society.

      A large number of women also died during the childbirth itself.

      Giving birth must be terrifying, but i presume once you’ve been through it once, or eighteen times in this case it gets a lot easier.

  • None of them will rebel, they’re so religious, they have prayer rooms and they all sit at the table each night and go over a passage of the bible.
    The younger 2 daughters in this pic are so much cuter and prettier than the others.

  • Yikes; I just counted.

    This must be one of their old family photos. Lets hope. Either that, or there are five stray kids of theirs who are “not quite camera ready.” One must surmise that they live chained up in the cellar, guarded by a guy with a fire hose, lest they get loose and wreck havoc on a small Florida town…

  • I stand corrected; There are so many of them I didn’t count the kid in the middle. Four Duggar children are missing, not five. There’s a potato chip joke in here somewhere. You know, the old Lay’s Potato Chip joke about “You can’t eat just one…”

  • Although I do agree with the majority of these comments that eighteen kids is ….overwhelming, I gotta say they have done a great job of brainwashing them into behaving perfect. I mean its great that they want to create a great environment for their kids, but its kinda at the point where they obsess over everything, including their oldest son. As I watched the show I noticed that he was always talking about his wife (before they married), where she was, what she was doing, when exactly he was going to marry her. It was just….obsessive-compulsive creepy, and the fact that he always wanted someone to supervise his dates just bothers me even more. I would get extremely annoyed if I was with a guy who did that all the time.

    I don’t think their relationship will have any longevity, I think his wife will probably go insane… haha

  • she has a femal mullet-the mom. A fullet? Her hair and her prarie dress is almost as disturbing as the fact that SHE HAS BEEN PREGNANT FOR 20 YEARS STRAIGHT…. uuugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

  • These people are beyond creepy and disturbing. Religious fanatics really, really give me the heebie-jeebies. Gross.

  • Mama’s coochie has to be worn out from all the “fun” not the births since she’s had C-sections. Papa looks like he’s supposed to procreate. (The attitude he’s serving up in the picture.)

  • i so wish these were my next door neighbors. i would be corrupting the shit out of them. in every way possible. wouldn’t be able to help it.

    • @ Joan: Me too!

      The Duggars are forcing their kids into their crazy religion with daily bible time and prayer closets. I feel especially sorry for the girls. There’s no choice in that.

  • Of course the kid arrived early, she probably coughed and out it flew! Anyway, regarding your man situation, let me just say that I hear ya and you might want to consider trying to make Jim Bob cheat on Michelle since he’s the only currently legal one around.

  • I’m on bed rest for a week and I guess really hate myself deep down because I watched their show last night…the whole hour!
    In one part they are shopping for new baby #83823 & whilst in a toy store one of the younger boys (no older than 5 I think) plays with a toy that puts out the usual tinny sounding Midi music of Fisher-Price toys and he dances to it.

    DANCING is a sin!

    The father acted like an R.Kelly song was playing from the toy.

    By the end of the hour I was praying myself….for my spleen to burst.

  • I read somewhere that for a family fun outing, they visited a Creationism Museum or something like that. Is there any end to the creepiness of this bunch?

    I wonder if ol’ Bob has to tie a 2 by four plank across his ass to keep from falling in?

  • I’ve watched the Duggars on the Discovery Health Channel, and I found 2 things I don’t like:

    1. NO TV.
    2. NO kissing until marriage.

    I saw the birth of their 18th baby and she’s beautiful! She’s every inch a Duggar! BOTH Michelle and Jim Bob said they can’t wait to have more!

    Michelle Duggar married at 17, and I think she should have waited until 18 – it’s the age of the legal adult. She’s now 42, and she said she doesn’t know how many more babies God will give them. It’s also possible she and her new daughter-in-law Anna may become pregnant together!

  • When you have grown children who are married, it’s time for Michelle to hang up her baby making factory. This family truly makes me want to vomit. They have TV shows to parade around their freak show family. It used to be a clown show, now it’s a freak show. NO normal, clear-thinking man or woman continues to pop out kids like puppies. They hand the kid off to one of the siblings and continue to make more like mindless, pathetic idiots. The religious right can use this family for their belief that you should give God the credit for everything. In my mind, it’s not God keeping Michelle prego, it’s Jim Bob and Jim Bob ain’t trustin’ God for his sex drive now is he?

  • It’s easy to put down what you don’t understand, what gives you the right to judge them. Heaven forbid people actually have a value system that differs from yours,I know lot of people who believe that way. even though they have lots of kids they actually pay for everything themselves no welfare or food stamps half the country can’t say that with one kid,though i may not agree with all their choices it’s their choice, you live how you want and they’ll live how they want.

    • Well said! While 18 kids wouldn’t be my own personal choice, I think they’ve done a helluva job with them.

  • I totally see Jinger and Jessa acting out. But Jinger, totally.
    I mean if you look at the website it says they want to be a chef and a beautician.
    Oh here we go, you will run into loads of gay men there in the beauty salon.
    I hope one of their kids turns out gay, or dates behind their parents backs or just turns out to be a total slut.
    18 kids,
    fucking christ!
    God is like damn I wish I said some thing differently, or I didn’t literally mean pump out all the babies you can.

  • Way to go Duggers! White people need to take the Duggers example or there won’t be any white people left before long. We have to compete with the Mexicans, who are trying to invade us and the Niggers who have as many kids as they can so we have to pay them more money on walfare! Add that to the fact that half of the white women are now sleeping with nigger men and we have a real problem. GO DUGGERS GO, HAVE SOME MO!

  • I have twins, wow.. & its work to keep twins on a schedule ETC ETC especially the first year. Duggars seem like nice people, but i sure as heck would be miserable mad crabby & puking if i had to drop one every 9months…i didnt nurse, but dont you think Mrs. Duggar has sore nips????? Nice they have the big house now..i just cant get over living in the smaller houses that they had & only several bedrooms & small sq feet & ….Makin’ babies …suppose those blessed children had to hear Mr.D huffin & puffin over Mrs.D’s clown car?? To creepy..even if they seem nice….oh yeah & i dont think the older kids should have to be Parents to the smaller ones …babysitting once inawhile is ok but not all the time …..I wonder if some of these kids will grow up not to want kids due to allllllll the time they had to be parents & no time to be kids..thats NOT RIGHT Mr & Mrs Duggar

  • i think all of you just need to shut up and leave this family sounds like all of you are either jealous or disapointed with your own lives so you had to pick on someone else.with those filthy mouths of yours you could never be as good of person as the do me a favor and stop this ….go to church find out just how great god can be then comment!