Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Hilton Was Not Robbed

Paris Hilton

I got an IM from a concerned citizen about how media everywhere is talking about how Paris Hilton was robbed today when a thief stole $2M in jewelry from her Beverly Hills home. “I believe she was burgled,” he said. Apparently robbery is when there is an in-person threat of violence, but, since Paris was not home at the time, it is a burglary. Paris Hilton was burgled, not robbed. (And just you know, I was informed that “larceny” is when you steal without breaking in. As in “Justin Gaston larcened Miley Cyrus’s virginity.”) There you have it folks! You’re all prepared to be detectives now!

“At around 5 a.m. Friday, officers received a call from a security guard who reported that Paris Hilton’s residence had been broken into,” LAPD spokeswoman Julie Sohn tells PEOPLE.

“According to detectives, a man wearing a hooded sweatshirt and gloves forced entry through the front door, ransacked her bedroom, took unknown property and fled,” Sohn added.

I don’t really understand what happened here. Like, do they know what the dude was wearing because they checked the security tapes, or were they watching it happen and just didn’t do anything about it? Also, where was Paris Hilton at 5 a.m. last night if she wasn’t at her house? Did the robber burglar know she wouldn’t be home? How did he get into her gated, “secure” community in the first place? Did he have an inside source? Inquiring minds want to know.

25 CommentsLeave a comment

  • this seems to have happened to her several times now.

    maybe they ought to just steal paris herself and get it over with. nobody would complain.

  • Some helpful common law definitions:

    Burglary: The breaking and entering the house of another, at night, with intent to commit a felony therein, whether the felony be actually committed or not.

    Robbery: Taking the property of another, with the intent to permanently deprive the person of that property, by means of force or fear.

    Larceny: Taking and carrying away the tangible personal property of another with the intent to deprive him or her of it permanently.

    I will happily serve as Special Counsel to the Beet at any time.

    • wow, good job! You looked up definitions which beet basically already stated in her post! Way to fucking go, you are such a smarty. You’re so useful, not.

  • I thought you said there would be no more crap about Paris! Beet I have lost faith in you!!

    I demand that you stop giving a crap about Paris at once!. PLEASE.

    haha =)

    • Don’t know how many times I have to say this, guys — I said no more Daily Paris, not no more Paris coverage.

  • Burglary is breaking into a residence where people sleep…even if nothing is stolen. We had this woman come into our unlocked house, totally drunk and asking to go home and the cops told us we had every right to shoot her dead.

    Also, I witnessed an attack and was told that it was only harassment when the guys head was repeatedly slammed into the pavement because no weapon was used, then it would be assault.

    We are fucked up.

    • um 1) Burglary is unlawfully entering into a building with the intent of committing a crime inside, it does not have to be a home or place where people sleep (at least not in my state)

      2)you dont have to have a weapon for it to be assault

      3) im not sure what state (or country) you live in but im pretty sure it is only in OK and TX that you can shoot someone who has come into your house and this is only if you believe your property is at risk (such as he/she is trying to steal something). In all or most other states you can only shoot when you feel your life is in danger.

      Im glad you took what the cops said to heart, you must be one of thsoe people who believes everything you hear.

  • “Justin Gaston larcened Miley Cyrus’s virginity.”

    well… from the tech view if she was a virgin then he did have to break through something… so it wasn’t larceny either

  • And by the way the title is rung when it says its not personal its just gossip its rung because it is personal and gossip the scares run deep some people never get over gossip thats how much it hurts.

    • You are on a gossip site. i think there should be a rule that we must all have passed 3rd grade spelling before we may post a comment.