Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Put Him in Gen Pop!

Do you like my prison lingo?

Do you see how cool I am?

I know phrases like “gen pop” because I grew up in the hood and all my friends were thugs and we periodically enrolled in prison.

No I’m kidding. I don’t know how I know that. I probably heard it in a rap song. Or, like, one of those Discovery Channel shows about prisons that I so adore.

Anyway, OJ Simpson’s not getting anally raped just yet. He’s being held in his own cell and separated from the rest of the evildoers.

“You don’t know who might take a pot shot at Mr. Simpson,” said Suzanne Pardee, a spokeswoman for the Nevada Department of Corrections, who stressed the separation is routine procedure for all new inmates.

Simpson, 61, sentenced Friday to at least nine years for armed robbery and kidnapping, is currently at the medium-security High Desert State Prison, 40 minutes north of Las Vegas.

The ex-football star is undergoing three weeks of medical and psychological testing to determine which of the seven Nevada prisons he’ll be permanently placed.

Wait, let me get this straight: the government spends THREE WEEKS attempting to help convicted felons wind up in the prison that’ll be the best fit for them?

Ummmmm … would it really be so hard to set up a similar system for our nation’s school children?

It would probably save you some of the prison-testing money in the long run, dudes.

10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • “You don’t know who might take a pot shot at Mr. Simpson,”

    exactly. gen pop is exactly where he should be!

  • “Ummmmm … would it really be so hard to set up a similar system for our nation’s school children?”

    Genius! If only more people thought like that.

  • interesting point, beet, about the schools… what a nice world that would be

    sadly, I do understand what they mean. celebrities in jail really does create an unusual, sticky situation. some person in for life could easily want to try to kill him, just for publicity. oh well. it’s kind of fucked either way.

  • Put him in Em City. That way he can get raped by Adabisi and see Christopher Merloni’s cock like five times a day. Em City can’t save you now OJ!!!!!! Luiz Guzman is dead! he can’t save you!

  • Obviously he could get killed in general population but there are also “normal” prisoners that get killed in there everyday too. Maybe they should beef up their security to protect all prisoners instead of spending all this money on protecting high profile inmates.

    Clearly these prisoners are in there for a reason but they should still have the right to be protected while in there. it seems like the only people they like to segregate and protect are child molesters/killers and high profile inmates. Instead of spending their money on that they should use it to do their best to make sure everyone has the same protection.

  • yeah beet, kinda figured you were kidding since no one in ‘da hood’ says things like “periodically enrolled”. lol