Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Rachel Zoe Was Born In 1971? Prove It.

Are these bangs going to be some new trend?  Because I hate them.  Like, I didn’t care when Jessica Alba got them because she’s mean and deserves ugly hair.  But Selena Gomez is just a cute and innocent kid despite that thing on her head.  Where were her parents when this haircut was happening?  Aren’t there laws to protect minors from this kind of thing? 

Speaking of devastating, I also came across some pictures of Rachel Zoe who was at the 2008 CNN Heroes with Selena event last night.  And I wikied her.  She’s 37 years old?  I will give a free Dr. Pepper to the first person who can prove that she is actually at least eight years older.  Because if I have to live with the fact that she’s only 11 months older than I am, I’m not sure I can go on.  For real.

Also there:  Lucy Liu looking pregnant, Cameron Diaz looking orange, and Ricki Lake looking like she could have made so much more effort.  Dude, you lost like, a hundred pounds.  Wear something flattering.

When I page through all the pictures that were taken at an event, there are lots of snapshots of each celebrity in different poses or scenarios.  Drinking wine, posing on the red carpet, accepting an award.  Meg Ryan’s face, in every single picture, was exactly the same.  No other facial nuance was recorded at any time.  

22 CommentsLeave a comment

  • hahah Diaz’s face is super orange.

    I have always wondered that about Zoe. Her face is really wrinkley. I feel kind of bad for her…. doesn’t she have money? How bout a lil nip/tuck? I mean, she loves fashion and wants to look her best….. my mom is like 54 and looks younger than her. No joke. I wonder if it is also because she is SO skinny. Don’t skinny people age worse? Is that true? That sucks. I don’t want to gain weight later, but I also don’t want her raisin face


  • zoe’s not the only one looking old… selena gomez looks like shes 30! that haircut does nothing for her (though i am not opposed to it in principle, if the bangs are straight across tho, ive seen it look quite good on some people, but thats mainly on french girls, they seem to have a predisposition to look good with bangs), and her outfit is really frumpy and kind of makes her stomach look fat. eww.

  • i think selena looks really cute! i probs wouldnt do it myself, but she can pull it off. especially if she thins the rest of her hair out a little. but even still, i like it.

  • yeah if youe havent noticed bangs have been in style for A WHILE now
    i do nto like wendie, shes meanspirited

  • PS are there really live puppies on the puppy cam because right now they are doing what they’re always doing: sleeping in a brown furry pile.

    i’m beginning to suspect it’s not live, rather just millions of loops of cuteness.

  • I thought this was a mean spirited blog, Paloma. That’s why I liked it- for the snarky writing. I mean, it has evil in the title.

  • If you look up Rachel Zoe ‘before’ she had fillers and botox she actually looked a hundred times worse. I’m torn between feeling sorry for her and feeling rather proud of myself for looking SO much younger than her (and I just turned 40)

  • I am officially switching to you from Perez. I’m from Seattle, you’re funnier and more innocent (is that possible for a gossip columnist?) and you still have the goods. We’re now together.

    • Because she can be. Jessica knows how gorgeous and sexually desired she is, so she feels free to treat all those beneath her (like you) as the insects you are. Mean bitches, like Jessica, are nasty freaks in bed. Which is why i put up with the attitude. As long as i get to stick my big, hard cock in and out(and in and out) of Jessica’s anally addicted asshole!, she can be the “Queen Bitch Of The Universe”!

  • Ricki Lake and Titty curtains…. oh god, and what is up with John Krasinski’s face, its been deep fried in makeup. I would say Rachel Leigh Cook looks the best out of all of them!

  • rachel zoe would look better with wispy bangs because her she has a huge botoxed forehead that should never be shown in public. i can’t believe she is not even 40! does she smoke? that makes you look older. also being underweight and overtanned.

  • Beet, I’m pretty sure you meant Rachel Zoe is 27, or 11 years older (not months), because I remember reading somewhere that you’re only 26, not 36 ^^. I’d hate for you to make yourself older than necessary! If you are 36 then DAMN you age gracefully! Unlike our friend here.

    On that note, Rachel Zoe is so exceedingly NOT pretty. She always looks angry. Maybe frowning is in? I missed the memo. Well, my mum always said if you frowned enough your face would stay like that. Too bad for Rachel!