Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Happy Birthday Miley Cyrus!

America’s sweetheart turns 16 years old today.  Doesn’t it seem like she’s been turning 16 forever?  Like closing Disney so 7,000 people could celebrate her big day wasn’t enough.  They better not roll out a cake for her tonight when she performs at the American Music Awards.

Here is Miley arriving at the AMAs looking totally age appropriate. 

I’m sure Beet will have plenty of coverage on the AMAs tomorrow but here are a few of my random thoughts on the first arrivals:

Christina Aguilera, seriously, what has happened to you?  It’s like your face totally changed when you got pregnant and it never returned to its original state.  I realize part of it is just a normal maturing but something looks…off. 

As off as seeing Pink as she appears tonight.  She gets a lot of criticism so I give her credit for wearing such a feminine.  I think she’s damned if she does or doesn’t; I just never imagined I’d feel so uncomfortable actually witnessing her in an evening gown and nose ring.

I had to look up who the hell Shailene Woodley was.  I guess she stars on some show called The Secret Life of an American Teenager.  You’ll know her better as the chick wearing flower pots on her feet.

Toccara has been looking good.  And by good I mean like a drag queen.

I’m unnaturally distracted by Dancing With The Starsjudge Carrie Ann Inaba.  Is she missing a set of eyelashes on one eye? 

And finally, Ashley Tisdale.  You’re cute, you’re wealthy.  You haven’t been romantically linked to any Jonas brother.  Cheer up…life is good! 

16 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Chrissie looks waaaay better than she’s looked lately. She’s still not Christina Aguilera but… she’s close, I think. Not quite there but, getting there. Slowly.

    Also I love her, Miley and Ashley’s dresses. I’m undecided on Pink’s, but it suits her.

  • I have never seen Miley’s dentures up so close before. Fascinating.

    I’m not going to comment on “shailenewoodley” figure. Particularly her legs. But absolutely love her grey dress. On me, ofcourse, and without those weird clunky flower pots.

  • Christina’s bangs look like her mom cut them in the kitchen with her office scissors. I actually like the secret life of an american teenager and never noticed Shailene’s very very tiny figure before [I guess since she does play someone who is trying to hide a pregnancy], those shoes dont flatter it at all!

  • I love Miley’s dress. She looks great, and the dentures are relatively normal looking. Hilary duff anyone?

  • I just want to slap those smug little smirks off each of the Jonas Brothers’ faces. They look like such little ninnies.

  • Miley (even though I highly dislike her music) and Pink both have really pretty dresses. As for Christina, I have to agree… wtf happened to her face… and hair. I think she got some ‘work’ done on her lips so thats probably why she looks a bit different, but her makeup is just hideous especially on her eyebrows…. it just screams trannylicious.

  • Mushmouth is about to break loose and make the Spears, Parasite and Lohan’s twenty-tween-drug-booze-sex-capades crisis look like funny pranks.

  • No! She dosent have a 20 year old boyfirend! Courta Malle get your facts right gal. Her boobs aren’t getting bigger!

  • miley , ilike you very much .my aii cousins also like you very much.we want to chat you in internet catting. my real sister is crying, so i written hallf my sister’s name and half name is arushie and my sister’s name is sammie.miley, my best friend is in a big trouble of love what shell she do.