Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Gentlemen, Break Out the Vaseline

Hey, she brought the rubber!

This is Jessica Alba’s new ad for Declare Yourself, an organization that encourages young people to vote.

“I think it is important for young people to be aware of the need we have in this country to get them more active politically,” she says. “People respond to things that are shocking.”

Oh, Jess, I know we all have our fantasies of what we’d do with you bound and gagged.

Me, personally?

I just want to put in a DVD of Honey and make you watch it all the way through. Then I’d take off the mouth gag and make you say “I declare myself incapable of choosing my own scripts” over and over again for half an hour. Then we’d repeat the process.

But seriously, you guys, get registered to vote. Next time it could be much worse. She could be talking.

10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Seriously.. if you’ve got Jessica Alba tied and gagged while you’re forcing her to watch Honey, why not poop on her chest while you’re at it? If you have anybody bound and gagged you might as well take a dump on them.

  • She’s seriously making me rethink how important is my right and duty to voting.. Yeah voting for whom ever will stop the madness and prevent this stupid ad nonsense from happening again.

  • I think she’s obnoxious, pretentious and dumb as a bag of hammers, so she should spend most of her time gagged with duct tape.

  • I use to really like Jessica from way back in the day when she was on flipper, idle hand.. way back then. Now that she’s a little more famous and predictably blond (as is required in that tax bracket), I always see her on TMZ being a bitch and not wanting to be photographed but always in paparazzi hangouts. STOP BEING A STUCK UP BITCH JESSICA!

  • I’m with you JR. I also feel the same way about celebrities who blather on about how we need to save the planet and they continue to fly in private jets and live in gigantic houses. Celebrities really need to just shut the hell up.

  • she should reconsider being tied up with rubber straps. it really makes her nose look big. i don’t mind her being bound, but not if it takes away from her good looks.

  • Ugh I dunno why guys think she’s hot…she’s alright but her personality makes it worse&I think the reason they gagged her was because she kept saying”why do make me a sex symbol?why am I just there for my looks?me…hot?Am I?I don’t think I am”NOT CUTE!