Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Hilton Solemnly Vows to Let No Head of Hair Go Unextended

Hey, remember how, after Paris Hilton got out of jail, she was all like “I will dedicate the rest of my life to helping those less fortunate than me” and we were all kind of hoping she’d, ya know, make generous donations to inner-city schools or fund an AIDS research clinic or start a food bank?

Well, she did none of those things.

She did something better.

Paris knows that not everybody can spend thousands of dollars on ultra-pricey hair extensions like her own, so she’s dedicated her life to coming out with cheaper and crappier hair extensions that everyone can buy!

Up now: the Bandit, which is being described in press releases as “the first interchangeable hair extension headband.” The Bandit extensions will come in three different lengths and various colors.

Paris will be debuting this new contraption at a private press conference on Saturday.

I can’t wait.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • LOL.

    I also seem to remember she claimed to be an animal rights activist, but still wears fur, eats meat, and is intent on keeping those poor dogs around her.

  • SMDH. When did “helping those less fortunate than me” involve putting the most profit in your pocket!?!

  • Thats right! Forget about the hungry children forced into war in Uganda, there are women out there who want cheap hair extensions!!! Making the world a better place, one head of hair at a time. Go Paris!

  • the best was when i read she was going to india to help the alcoholic elephants (who’d been breaking into rice farmers stores of beer) but that turned out to be fake. but it was beautiful while it lasted.