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10Very Exciting Christian Slater Update

Ahhhh ha ha ha.

You guys don’t care about Christian Slater, I know.

But he’s moving in with his girlfriend, who happens to be the head of Jimmy Choo, Tamara Mellon. I want the head of Jimmy Choo to move in with me. I’d totally go all Single White Female on her. And by that I just mean I’d steal all of her shoes.

Okay. Go back to filling out expense reports. It’s more interesting than this post.

July 28, 2008 at 11:23 am by Evil Beet

5Bono is Now The Godfather

U2′s Bono is reportedly going to be The Godfather of Brangelina’s new twins, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline.

“They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back. Since then, they’ve become very close, which Brad is thrilled about. Angelina is inspired by Bono’s humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson.”

Apparently Angelina has also consulted with her former girl-flame Jenny Shimizu about being a godmother to the twinsies, but Brad has yet to give his consent. I don’t blame him! That’s kind of like Brad being like, “You know, Angelina, I think we should make Jennifer Aniston the godmother.” Angelina would freak out and vomit all over him, instead of in the toilet where she usually does it. Was that crossing a line? Eh.

I wish Bono was my godfather. I don’t even have godparents. That’s what I get for being Jewish. I got a fucking dreidl instead of Bono. That’s total bullshit.

July 28, 2008 at 11:13 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Bono

8Was Mary-Kate Olsen Heath Ledger’s Secret Lover?

The magazine Grazia is reporting that MK has confirmed to them that she was, in fact, Heath Ledger’s lover at the time that he died.

“I’m just completely shattered about Heath,” Olsen is quoted as saying in Grazia. “I loved him so much. We had this amazing connection and now he’s gone. I just can’t get over him.”

Eh, take this for what it’s worth. I, for one, am not sure I buy it. I mean, MK might have been hooking up with Heath, but she’s not gonna be admitting in to some two-bit magazine. I call bullshit.

Oh, and E!’s resident recovering addict Ted Casablancas had this to say about Heath today:

In all this glorious (and quite deserved) rediscussion of Heath Ledger’s passing now that the Dark Knight is out, no one seems to be mentioning what the ef killed the Aussie star, i.e., drugs…way too many of them. I mean, when Di got smashed up a decade ago in Paris, the world was out to kill the press corps, blaming our kind for destroying the princess, when in fact, it was a drunken driver who killed the poor gal. And now, nothing at all’s being blamed. It’s just being labeled “tragic” and “too soon” that Heath passed. Look, idiots, it’s called drugging yourself to death. Wake up. I exclaim this entirely respectfully, too, mind you—no one misses his über talents more than I. Superdamn shame.

Word up, Ted.

July 28, 2008 at 10:58 am by Evil Beet

21Keira Knightley to Head Up Itty Bitty Titty Committee

Ha ha. I like saying “itty bitty titty committee.” It makes me happy because it sounds funny, and because it reminds me that I have large breasts. Yay!

Anyway, Keira Knightley reportedly refused to allow the studio to digitally increase her bosom in the publicity still for her new film, The Duchess.

“She has insisted that her figure stay in its natural state,” says a source. “She is proud of her body and doesn’t want it altered.”

July 28, 2008 at 10:46 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Keira Knightley

8Britney Hits Up Cabo

When is Britney Spears not on vacation these days?

Oh, right, when she’s in a courtroom surrendering custody of her children.

With no little munchkins to look after, Britney hit up Cabo San Lucas to soak up some rays and forget her worries.

Rough life.

July 28, 2008 at 10:38 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears

290My Love for Miley Cyrus Grows with Each Passing Day

Not to the point where I want to, you know, stick my tongue down her throat and grab her underage ass, as these photos show her ex-boyfriend, Thomas Sturges, doing, but still. This girl just gets more fun with each new article. It’s only a matter of time before she’s sleeping with Greek shipping heirs, throwing drinks in clubs, and posing with knives with Vanessa Minnillo. And I, for one, can’t wait.

Who wants to bet that Miley leaked these photos herself, to get back at Nick Jonas for humping all up on Selena Gomez?

Another interesting question: Who took these pictures?

July 28, 2008 at 10:34 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized