I’m so happy for Lindsay Lohan these days. She attended a small BBQ party in Malibu with Samantha Ronson, and reportedly sipped on a non-alcoholic pineapple concoction and chatted with friends the whole night, leaving with SamRo around midnight. No reports of frequent bathroom trips or throwing glasses or fits or anything. Our little Lindsay is a changed woman, and I couldn’t be happier for her!
On a personal note (I know, I know, but a really personal note), I got a phone call tonight from a friend I hadn’t talked to in a long time. I was really surprised to see his number show up on my caller ID. He’s struggled with drug abuse for awhile, and I thought he was clean (he was the last time I spoke with him, in April, the day before Charlie died), but he called to tell me he’d been on a month-long crack run and didn’t know where to turn. He’s out of money and he has no insurance to go to a hospital to detox. His parents won’t help him out (they’ve helped him out plenty in the past, but they’re sick of it). He’s stealing food and beer from the grocery store, and dealers in Venice are shooting at him and banging up his car, because he owes them money. I really didn’t know what to tell him. I told him if he could get out to Seattle he was welcome to detox on my couch, but he has no money for a ticket, and I know better than to give a drug addict any money. If I lived in LA still, I’d go pick him up and take him to stay with me, but I can’t do that from Seattle. I suggested maybe he should go to an AA or NA meeting, or call his old sponsor, but he doesn’t want to do that, either. So I couldn’t really do anything but tell him that I love him and he means the world to me and that I would be devastated if he died — which is looking more and more likely. Just another reminder that, as much as we make fun of drug addiction on this website, it’s a very real and very serious illness that claims lives. This guy used to be one of the smartest, funniest, kindest, most gorgeous men I’d ever met — I used to have a hardcore crush on him, honestly — and he’s been reduced to pretty much nothing by his addiction. It’s so hard to watch.
So it’s nice to see Lindsay doing well, and, if you have some extra time tonight, it would be nice if ya’ll could pray for my friend.
As You Wish!
: )
drug addiction is truly insidious…..
to Beet`s friend….be strong and fight it mate…..happy endings ‘can and do happen’….and isn`t that worth stepping up for .
awww, you almost made tears come out mah face! (i joke because its true- it really did hit a nerve with me).
My brother is going through the same thing as your friend. So i know what you’re going through. It’s hard to see people you love waste away due to drugs. I will pray for your friend, and if you could pray for my brother, that would rock too.
Just have to keep hope alive here… all we can do.
Beet sorry to hear of your friends struggle. It’s never easy to watch someone we love destroy themselves. But I commend you for being a good enough friend to offer him the love and support he needs and not enable him with things he may want like money. I hope he’s serious and seeks help.
I have watched members of my family as well as friends go through the phases. It is heartbreaking to watch, even more so knowing that you really cannot do anything else besides wish that they would get better.
I wish your friend the best, I’m sorry.
. . . ! ! ! ATTENTION ! ! ! . . .
Watch Lindsay Lohan real SEX VIDEO… CLICK “NAME”… ;-)
Do NOT offer your couch. As unfeeling as that sounds, you can’t help this person. It’s sad and frustrating and awful, but only your friend can help himself.
Jen in PA is right about the couch. You will just end up being another person he hurts/steals from/etc. He has to want to get better, and he obviously doesn’t want to do that right now.
Beet,
I read your blog daily, but I have never left a comment until now. I have dealt with the horrors of drug addicition my entire life (not me, my mom) and I can tell you that you probably don’t even want this guy on your couch. I know you have a kind heart and you only want the best for him, but don’t do it at your expense. Your belongings would probably start to disappear. You gave the best advice you could, go to a meeting. There is free help out there. The system is far from perfect, but he could get help. I will pray for your friend and for you to have the right words if he should call again.
Best regards,
Alicia
I third the others on not offering up your couch. Seriously. Regardless of whether or not he is a great guy underneath that addiction, you’re gonna get hurt and end up with things missing. It’s difficult to deal with, but I guarantee it that if he just needs a place to crash, nothing good can come of it. I’m sure your material things aren’t imortant, but just the fact that he would steal or betray you like that is gonna be that much more heartbreaking for you.
I’m going to agree with everyone here Beet – do not let him come stay with you. I know it’s hard to watch and be helpless, but he’s got to get to a point where he WANTS to change -absolute rock bottom would not be found on your couch. And there are shelters and places to go for help. Maybe google some men’s shelters or rehab centers around where he is and when he calls again, give him that info. It’s horrible to watch someone destroy themselves but there is nothing you can do to help him other than offer him support via phone and tell him you love him. I watched my ex practically kill himself with heroin, and every time he’d say he wanted to change and I was stupid enough to let him come home, he’d rob me blind. The day of our daughter’s baby shower he cleaned out my house of everything pawnable, just to go get high. Be strong! I will be praying for you and your friend.
that’s really too bad.. you want to help but you don’t want to be an enabler either.. =(
I’m getting on the bandwagon here, EB. I think your empathy is admirable, but giving a crack addict access to your residence is not something you can do with any degree of safety. Beyond the likelihood of you personal belongings being stolen, you cannot be sure who will be given access to your place, or even who will be inhabiting your friend’s body at any given moment. The sad fact is that the person you knew is likely irrevocably gone, and admitting a wild card like that in your life puts everything you have at substantial risk.
Stay strong, kiddo.
I’ll send up a prayer for your friend, Beet.
prayers for your friend to find the strength to do what HE needs to do to get sober.
prayers for YOUR heart and soul which are surely aching. it kills a part of us when we can’t save a loved one. you are very kind but the advice that many people have given you above is the way to go.
Do NOT let him in your home unless you’re prepared to have your computer and jewelry disappear.
wow beet you are such a nice person, but i think you should protect yourself. this isn’t the same guy you loved and trusted years ago, drugs have changed him and he doesn’t have the same characteristics he once did. i agree with the others who said not to offer your house to this man. it should be a clear sign of his character when even his parents have turned their backs on him. i feel terrible, but you have to be smart and put yourself first. don’t let him into your life because he will not offer anything but hurt.
It’s sad, but it’s nice that your site can offer human feeling for the problems people struggle with.
xoxo
these people come to a phase where they’ll murder to feed their addiction
don’t give him shelter
I treat these people professionally and they are not at the same conscious level we are
they are absent minded
won’t care for you
leave him to his choices
drug addiction is a choice
I didn’t read anything anyone said, because I could care less if you’re gonna talk crap about her. If anyone did. I’m really really proud of her that she’s cleaned her act up. Being a fan of hers, it’s good to see she didn’t turn down the wrong road and never find her way back. Maybe now she can get her professional career back where it was before.
And for that guy you were talking about, it’s really sad to see or know that people go through it. It’s like you may know someone is, but until you see what it’s doing to them and their family, it really hits you and is like wow. I watched Intervention last night for the first time in a while and it was the saddest thing seeing it all happen.
Beet – Maybe this is overkill, because so many posters already said it, but this is serious, and it can’t be stressed enough. You are a kind heart who needs to protect herself right now.
An addict who is actively using is not your friend. Addicts are loyal to no one, respect no boundaries, and are only concerned with getting high at any cost. It is too high a risk for you to gamble that this once normal person will not hurt you or rob you blind.
Consider this scenario: You step out to the store for an hour. Your couch-surfer gets a hold of something to pawn, brings back some crack and other crackies into your home. You come home to a smoke-filled, wrecked living room, with stoned Amy Winehouse and Pete Dougherty-types on your cigarette burnt couch, and no one can figure out if they let the cats out or where Leo went. Sound melodramatic? Maybe. But do you want to risk that?
this is why i love your blog…he will absolutely be in my prayers :)
wow. some of comments here are amazingly shitty. it’s ridiculous to think you cant help someone. you dont sit down one day and say, “hey i think i’m going to become a crack addict!” it’s not that simple. it’s a snowball effect that doesn’t really make sense unless you’ve been there. you don’t have to trust him but that doesn’t mean you can’t help him. no one is beyond hope until they are fucking dead. it’s true that drug addicts can only change for themselves, but the people around them that love them can help them realize that by being there. if they don’t have love and support, then there’s no reason for them to keep going.
Ask a common friend or two for help, go together in Seattle, bring him to a detox community, a free one, priests or something, better far away from his pushers.
He cannot do that alone. If you leave him alone, if you pray for him, he will die, or someone else will help him, eventually.
Pierre
You got it Beet!!! I really hope he gets better. He’s got to love himself enough to do it. I live in L.A. I’ll look up some detox programs (maybe there is something run by a charity or foundation or something).
In the meantime, he needs to go to a meeting, just for the psychic suppport, you know? And also, it will help in the sense that not only might there be someone there who can help him, but at least consciously or subconsciously he will be sending the message to himself that he is taking steps to fix this and get back on track.
Also, stealing food from the grocery store is dangerous. He dosen’t need to go to jail on top of everything else. Tell him to go to a food bank. They have them in L.A. I have donated to them (there is one on Beverly Blvd if you want to look it up for him) and when times were hard, I used them.
I’ll let you know what I find.
Be Blessed.
Riri
Please read the article about Josh Hamilton from Sports Illustrated last year. It discusses his battle with addiction and some pretty similar-sounding struggles. I have said a prayer for your friend.
‘I’m proof that hope is never lost’
By Josh Hamilton (as told to Tim Keown)
ESPN The Magazine Updated: July 5, 2007
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2926447