Today's Evil Beet Gossip

John Mayer: Cheating on Jen Already?

Ever since John and Jennifer Aniston hooked up two weekends ago, rumors have been swirling that she’s smitten as hell, texting and emailing John to beg him to come back to Miami and see her.

But John’s in NYC, reportedly still banging everything that walks. From Page Six:

A source in New York saw Mayer, a notorious horndog, out at 1Oak Friday night with Adam Levine, and Mayer “was all over some blond girl.” Mayer later asked the DJ to play some R. Kelly songs so “we can dance with our girls.”

I call bullshit on this, just because, as much as I dislike John Mayer as a person, I know the dude knows better than to request an R. Kelly song in anything but a totally ironic fashion. Like in the same way you might request a DJ play the Friends theme song. Not because you want to hear it, but because the fact that you even asked is hilarious. Mayer either planted this item himself as an inside joke, or someone else planted it to fuck with him, or this source is full of shit.

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  • The bottom photo says a lot. He looks full of fake sincerity as he pretends to listen to her pouring out her soul to him just so her can get into her pussy later that evening.

  • > He looks full of fake sincerity as he pretends to listen to her pouring out her soul to him just so her can get into her pussy later that evening.

    So how is that different from any relationship from the beginning of time?

  • I don’t even care. I’ve heard enough about Mayer and Aniston to last a lifetime. LA LA LA I’M NOT LISTENING.

  • John Mayer is doing what he’s supposed to do…living out most men’s fantasies. Don’t hate. He is not married.

  • I just find it somewhat amusing that they are both such achingly obvious cliche`s in that photo. But, I guess, it just proves the old saying that there is nothing new under the sun.

  • Cute and happy couple. I am so glad you are happy together. But, I think John should remove his personal ad from Richr omances.com. You are no long a single already. Are you looking for only pals over there?

  • OMG OMG OMG OMG, when i saw the cover of In touch or was it life n style? anywas they were on the cover and i wanted to have a fucking heartattack! i swear i FUCKING HATE jon maer, god he is so fuckin pretentious……….NOTE TO JENAN: IF YOU ARE REALLY DATING HIM I WILL DISOWN YOU!!!

  • Johns an okay guy , Jen isn’t right for him….you all know she needs lots of attention-its all about her. He will get bored. She seems desperate. Sheryl Crow put them together—if nothing else they will get more media attention and that’s what Hollywood is about. If she couldn’t hang onto Brad Pitt – or anyone else – what make this special?
    Just gossip fodder.

  • THEY ARE NOT A COUPLE> VINCE FLEW INTO MIAMI THAT WEEKEND AND THEY PLANNED HOW TO CONTINUE THIS GAME. THAT IS WHY JEN IS NOW SEEING VINCE PUBLICLY AND JOHN IS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN IMMEDIATELY : IT IS ALL TO GET ATTENTION FOR THEIR CAREERS BASED ON PUBLIC INTEREST IN THEIR PERSONAL LIVES: ALL ORGANISED BY THE SAME AGENCY THEY ARE UNDER : HUVANE’S

  • Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his ass to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I had ever heard.

    This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell.

    This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called “The Better ‘Ole’ that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, “Oh I say, are you still down there, old thing?”

    “Nah! I had to go relieve myself.”

    After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.

    Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in- curving hooks and start eating. He thought this was cute at first and built and act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth.

    Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: “It’s you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we don’t need you around here any more. I can talk and eat and shit.”

    After that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly like a tadpole’s tail all over his mouth. This jelly was what the scientists call un-D.T., Undifferentiated Tissue, which can grow into any kind of flesh on the human body. He would tear it off his mouth and the pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly and grow there, grow anywhere on him a glob of it fell. So finally his mouth sealed over, and the whole head would have have amputated spontaneous- except for the eyes you dig.

    That’s one thing the asshole couldn’t do was see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldn’t give orders any more. It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the brain must have died, because the eyes went out, and there was no more feeling in them than a crab’s eyes on the end of a stalk.

  • <I don’t even care. I’ve heard enough about Mayer and Aniston to last a lifetime. LA LA LA I’M NOT LISTENING.

    if u dont want to listen than why you read this ah?
    typical he thinks he is such playerrr dude what a waist

  • Theyj’re a couple of nauseating, publicity-seeking, shallow losers. I just can’t believe how obviously phoney these two are. LA LA LA — I’m with you!

  • The more I see these two, the more sick I get. It’s such an obvious publicity stunt. She’s his beard, nothing more. Publicity buddies. It’s a shame there are people like these two in Hollywood, when there are so many more talented, beautiful and private actors there. They are disgraceful!

  • >>>Johns an okay guy , Jen isn’t right for him

    Who are we to judge? None of us really know them.

    According to their birth dates and ancient Indian astrology, surprisingly they are 100% matching in all 7 out of 8 areas of relationship factors. The one that they didn’t fare well was physical area. It is reported that they are doing it well so we will see. Anyway their compatibility is surprisingly high. They are good match, but of course they must work like anyone, for any relationship success.