Here’s what we’re gonna do:
We’re going to minimize every part of your chest except for your underarm fat. Then we’re going to give you a necklace to make sure that eyes are drawn specifically to that underarm fat. Underarm fat is the new thin.
Then we’re going to make you look pregnant. With septuplets.
And since we don’t have time to do your hair, why don’t you just take a bath with a plugged-in blow-dryer? That’ll create a nice effect.