Congrats to Jordin Sparks America’s New Idol! It was pretty obvious that she was going to win for the past few weeks. I gotta give her snaps for being the first Idol winner from the great state of Arizona. It was a very long show filled with some pretty awesome performances and a very weird time-filler called the “Golden Idol Awards.” I, unlike the Evil Beet, never really wanted to have sex with Blake Lewis but tonight he really brought down the house with his duet with Doug E Fresh.
Sanjaya! Also performed with a wind machine. Jesus…just when I didn’t think this show could get any more bizzare. Taylor Hicks looks adorable now after losing some weight. I really also think that every C-lister in Hollywood was on hand for the Idol Finale. Jordin also performed with Ruben Studdard who thankfully, unlike Ryan, makes her look tiny.
17 year-old Jordin is the youngest winner in Idol history. I’m interested in seeing what her album will be like. The Idol machine will, I’m guessing, have her drop 30 pounds and she will be on the cover of People in a few months under the headline “How Jordin Got Healthy and Fit!” She will then say that a high protein diet and “the crazy schedule” of her Idols tour help her lose the weight.