Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Charting Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen‘s nose jobs. Remember, kids, if you have your nose opened up because all the cocaine deviated your septum, it’s not really plastic surgery. [CityRag]

Damn, the Buffy chicks used to be hot. [Geno]

Martha Stewart chats with Hayden Panettiere. [popbytes]

Cameron Diaz expects you to believe that her life has been “hell” for the past few years. [INO]

Maybe she’s so upset because Justin Timberlake might be porking Madonna. [Agent Bedhead]

OJ Simpson gets booted from a Kentucky steakhouse because, well, because he killed his wife. [Bossip]

Johnny Depp is probably going to get married this summer. [ICYDK]

Christina Aguilera hops on the celebrity fragrance wagon. [DS]

A taxi driver almost killed Lindsay Lohan this week. You know what they say, Linds, if the coke doesn’t get you, the NYC cabbies will. [IDLYITW]

Kelly Clarkson looks cute on TRL. [Just Jared]

I have to admit, Kim Kardashian still looks really pretty, even without make-up. [Derek Hail]