Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Our Readers Rock

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I maintain this website for a variety of reasons, but one of them is that, no matter how bummed out I am at any point in time, something related to this site always manages to cheer me up. I was sitting around at home tonight stressing about my impending apartment move, when I got an email from a reader that absolutely made my night. Beet reader Kerri invented this fabulous story about how the little kitten I posted earlier ended up curled against a breast. It made me laugh out loud, and I wanted to share it with all of you:

OK. So a Hooter girl with a pure heart is working one rainy evening. And as she take some food scraps out to the homeless beggars in the alley, she spies a little drenched orange kitten. She secrets him back into the restaurant, and between the other good hearted Hooter girls (who aren’t so bright) and the busboys, they fix him up a little kitten box, feed him warm milk, and keep him secret from the evil night manager Sleazy Steve.

When her shift ends, she counts her tips, collects her stuff, (takes off her Hooter shirt, but has a tank top on underneath, and she puts on proper lower extremity garments, maybe a sensible pair of Chinos) and is leaving the restaurant, when Sleazy Stevy calls out to her.

She doesn’t want him to see the kitten, so she sticks him under her raincoat. As he approaches, he is uttering such threats as “Hey, I gave you the best tables tonight, come over to my pad and show your thanks!” and “If you don’t I will ruin your name and you will never waitress again!” The sound of the menacing in his voice scared the poor kitten, and he scrambled to a safer, warmer hiding place, and fell asleep.

Hooter girl, with audio taped evidence she will give to her lawyer boyfriend that night to begin a class action lawsuit, sees where the kitten ended up, and lets him sleep, because only mean, cruel people wake up sleeping kittens.

I think we have a screenplay on our hands, kids! For a great porn, at least. :) Thanks for reading, Kerri, and thanks for sending this!

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