Joe Simpson is Truly a Man of God

March 8th, 2007 by Evil Beet


Joe and Ashlee Simpson

The former reverend exemplifies the qualities we look for in our men of the cloth: love, tolerance, and an awareness that life does not bend to our will. He’s really just all of this and more.

When asked about Britney Spears’ recent stint in rehab, Joe said the following: “I would never let that happen to my daughters. Hopefully, her family will take care of the situation.”

That’s right, Joe. You would never let that happen to your daughters, because you have complete and total control of their lives, which is healthy for all parties involved. At least Britney’s family realized there was a problem and pressed their child to get help. You’d probably just lock Ashlee or Jessica in a basement for awhile. Totally normal.

Hey, Joe, did you catch Dirt this week? It was totally about you. The actor that played you? He even looked like you.


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2 Responses to “Joe Simpson is Truly a Man of God”

  1. MissPinkKate Says:

    Joe Simpson would never let anything bad happen to his daughters. He wouldn’t push them newly married onto a reality show. He wouldn’t let them be embarrassed repeatedly on national television due to lack of talent and preparedness. He wouldn’t produce bad movies for them to be in. He wouldn’t let them get divorced. He wouldn’t let them get busted for having very obvious plastic surgery. He wouldn’t talk about his daughters like they were whores to the press. No, Joe Simpson is a *great* father.

  2. lizze Says:

    heh … I was giggling at Dirt’s dig on da *normal* Simpsons

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