It sure is a slow news week. At times like this, I feel it’s my duty to sift out all the slow-news-week stories that are utterly unsubstantiated and/or inconsequential for you guys, and, as such, I won’t be bringing you updates on the Winona Ryder suicide that never happened, the new baby that Tom and Katie aren’t having, the Anna Nicole autopsy results that no one will report, or the pregnancy that Giselle Bunchen will never carry to term, because it’s hard to do that when you’re not pregnant.
Instead, I bring you what is easily the most confirmable story we’ve seen in days and days: Brandon Davis is a total asshole. Remember when Brandon was being his typical douchebag self at Paris Hilton’s birthday party a couple weeks back? Paula Abdul was there, and he was making fun of her heritage (“He kept on saying her last name over and over again, and then would insert his made-up version of an Arabic language,” reported a witness). Well, it turns out Brandon hails from a similar region of the world: his real last name is Zarif, and his father is a Turkish-American wine importer. Brandon uses his mother’s maiden last name — which is associated with his late grandfather, billionaire Marvin Davis — and, man, in retrospect, I’m sure that family wishes he’d stuck with Zarif.
UGH!! Every time I see a picture of him I throw up in my mouth. He is sooo FUG and nasty looking. He looks like he doesn’t take a bath, just splash some cologne on and keep going.
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